I keep trying to convince myself that I am where I am supposed to be at this very moment in my life. I graduated and attained my master's degree with honors. I successfully completed 3 different internships in my area of interest. I am finally pursuing the career that I have set my sights on over the past 5 years. However, the question, "What's next?" plagues me... because I know what comes next but I have no control over when "next" will arrive. It could be today, tomorrow, in 5 months, in a year? The stress I feel results from the constant pressure I place on myself to reach the next part of my life. Here I am again, at another crossroads, similar to the one I experienced when I graduated from college. I've worked so hard to get to this point and being the impatient person I am, I want to see the pay-off now. I feel a strong sense of urgency to see the fruits of my labor. I am exactly where I need to be but I am not where I want to be.

"Compare, where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get nowhere"

There is such truth to this statement. If I continue to focus on what I lack or invest my energy in the "should'ves, would'ves, could'ves," if I continue to dwell in self-doubt and self-pity, if I continue to compare myself to other people, if I fail to acknowledge the blessings in my life, I won't be able to move forward. I notice in these times of uncertainty, which I've encountered several times over the course of my 28 years of life, God has never left my side... even when I neglect his presence in my life. I need to trust and have faith in the plans that He has for me. These insecurities, which resurface during moments of great vulnerability, are not of Him.

Every time I start spiraling into this negative mindset, I am reminded that I am worthy by the people that He's placed in my life and I need to embrace the positivity that they bring and more importantly, believe it. A student mentioned to me earlier this week that I will make a great counselor and said that I had a "gift." He has instilled in me a gift to share with the world and although the opportunity to do so has not yet presented itself, I have faith that it will...in His time rather than my own.

In the meantime, I'll refer back to Dr. Suess, whose words have gotten me through the many different chapters of my life:

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!