mighty fine oh nine
Thursday, December 31, 2009
I have a thing about odd numbers. I don't particularly like them. In fact, I prefer even numbers over odd ones but it's funny because I was born in 1987 and graduated in 2001, 2005, and 2009. Anyway, despite being an odd numbered year, 2009 was more than good to me. Sure there are things that about it that I would've liked to happen differently. But for the most part, the good that this year brought into my life outweighed the bad. I'm grateful for the things I've experienced this year & for the people that have come into and out of my life.

One thing that 2009 has taught me is that bad things happen, but you have to roll with the punches. You can't dwell on them or let those bad things take over you or engulf your entire being. For most of my life, I've been the type of person that holds on to every little thing, the type of person that spends all of my time obsessing over every little mistake, the type that creates mountains out of molehills, the time of person that worries her life away. This year, I realized the power of positive thinking because I experienced the negativity that can result from thinking otherwise. In the beginning of this year I became the very person that I loathed, the person that I looked down on, the person that I never wanted to be. On the outside, I was saying one thing and acting one way, but on the inside I was thinking something else. I was a hypocrite and the jealousy, selfishness, anger & frustration was eating me up inside. All of this happened because of one negative thought that turned into two negative thoughts which snowballed into a negative attitude. I didn't like who I became and although I was a child of God, I was definitely not living or acting like one. Negativity is contagious and soon enough, I think that the people closest to me had grown tired of my complaints. Who wants to be around a Debbie Downer all the time? I can't identify the exact moment when I decided to change the way I was acting but I do know that once I realized that the time I spent agonizing over my problems meant less time hanging out with friends & getting to know the first years, I began to look at life a little differently. Time and time again, life has shown me that you don't know what you've got till it's gone and by the time that I decided to make a change for the better, my senior year was more than halfway over.

I also learned that I can't define my happiness according to a person or to what other people think of me. Someone doesn't like me? So what? I used to think that pleasing everyone around me was important but now I know that I'm important too and if someone in my life isn't helping to make me a better person, then why bother associating myself with them? I've learned that true friends don't ask you to change yourself or your life in order to maintain their friendship. True friends accept you for who you are. There is no exception and if a friend isn't willing to make time for you, then why should you make time for them? Friendship is a two-way street and that saying that goes "never make someone a priority who only makes you an option" applies not only to relationships but friendships as well.

2009 was a year of strength for me and without my experiences this year, I wouldn't have learned to be strong enough to say no, strong enough to stand up for myself, strong enough to fight for what I believe in, strong enough to pursue my dreams, strong enough to be there for friends that need me, strong enough to find my own way, strong enough to say that "I'm important", strong enough to know what's right for me, strong enough to tie a couple of loose ends and cut ties with others, strong enough to love myself, my life, my family & friends, and strong enough to say "I can do this."

Take comfort in the fact that everyday is a new day to be better & do better. It's like God's continuously giving us second chances to pick up our crosses and follow Him. This year I learned to believe in second chances. Thank You 2009. Hello 2010.
posted by anna liza at 10:34 PM | 0 comments
so long, farewell 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!

and now here's my annual end of the year survey!

end of the year survey 2009

"Another year is overrrr so I've done this survey every year since 2003 (when I had my first blog haha)...My answers are pretty long. Sorry but if you're bored you can either do the survey or read it. Hope everyone's having a fun and SAFE new year's. Yayyy! See you next year :)"

Year in review survey for 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before? I rode on a plane for the first time. I graduated from college. Also, I drove on the freeway by myself for the first time lol. also i learned to swim & ride a bike! (summer 09!! haha) (thanks abby lol)

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Maybe more goals than resolutions… get healthy, maintain my relationships with people, FIND A JOB…and a career.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No one close to me.

4. Did anyone close to you die? RIP Tita Alice.

5. What countries did you visit? Zero.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? I’d say clarity & a sense of direction and a job/source of income

7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February 13-15 (LOG’s Winter Retreat 09 @ Shawshank lol), February 24 (my 22nd), June 21 (2 years with Brenton), May 30 (My Spring Banquet), June 2 (End of the year Mass/senior goodbyes/late night affirmations), June 14 (My graduation from UCI), July 3-5 (Vegas with the Olivares fam), Sept. 8 (moving home from Irvine), Sept. 16-20 (trip to Hawaii), Nov. 3 (Mom’s minor surgery), Nov. 11 (Three Apples: Hello Kitty celebration), Nov. 13 (accompanying my boss to a taping of a talk show), Nov. 20 (my first Benefit Concert as an alum), Dec. 11 (last official day @ Intern Queen/lunch with Lauren), Dec. 26 (Annual family Christmas Party), Dec. 27-29 (Vegas again)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Graduating from UCI with honors, surviving Winter Retreat, getting 3 internships (lol), driving on the freeway by myself, and lastly improving my communication skills and being able to stand up for myself.

9. What was your biggest failure? I’d have to say my biggest failures were not finding a job and any situations that involved miscommunication, lack of planning, and procrastination.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I got sick a couple of times

11. What was the best thing you bought? My dresser and bookshelf for my room once I moved home and my mom bought me a droid.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? everyone's!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Jon & Kate lol… and mine sometimes.

14. Where did most of your money go? FOOD, tuition, clothes, trips

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Spring Banquet 09, Hawaii, and graduation sometimes.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009? Anything by Lady Gaga or Jay Sean, BEP’s “I Got a Feeling” (LOL), Blame it on the alcohol

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Wiser? Yes

Healthier? no

Richer? LOL poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Relaxing, enjoying the present moment, job searching

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worrying, stressing

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it with my dad’s side on the 26th, and with friends on the 22nd

22. Did you fall in love in 2009? :)

24. What was your favorite TV program? GLEE

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No

26. What was the best book you read? I didn’t get to read any books this year except for What Color is Your Parachute?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmm… I’ll get back to you on that.

28. What did you want and get? Umm…a new phone? …and an internship

29. What did you want and not get? A job

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Up! And 500 Days of Summer…I don’t remember what else I’ve watched this year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? A couple of friends and my roomies surprised me with pink sprinkled covered brownies at midnight…Then I had lunch at Brandywine with Jamie, went to class, did drop-in counseling, worked at the Registrar office, signed up for my last quarter of classes at UCI, worked a marketing table, went to Liwanag, got surprised by Brenton and Joe, Derrick, Dean, Meechy, & other alumni, ate at Red Robin for dinner with LOG’ers. I turned 22. I also celebrated it at Lucille’s a few days later.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Comfortable… anything I liked hahah… forever21, urban, h&m, and Nordstrom if I could afford it.

34. What kept you sane? Faith, Family, Friends

35. Who did you miss? Everyone

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

will answer this in a separate entry.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I couldn’t narrow it down to just 1… or even 2 for that matter so these 3 songs summed up my year the most:

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

 Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
 Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

La la la la la la la la la
It’s a Beautiful Day

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

- India.Arie – A Beautiful Day (I used to play this song when I drove to UCI in the mornings!)

You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

True Colors – Glee Version

You know the ills of this world they can get you down
But then you get back up

The Ills – Mayer Hawthorne


SECOND SURVEY

1) What was your favorite moment of the year? GRADUATING at the Bren Events Center, everything about Spring Banquet 2009, being in Hawaii with the family…and any time I was in the company of the people I loved

2) What was your least favorite moment of the year? Being jobless, having to say goodbye to Irvine

3) Where were you when 2009 began? At home as always.

4) Who were you with? My parents and brother.

5) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009? No

6) Do you have a new years resolution for 2010? See above.

7) Did you fall in love in 2009? :)

8) If yes, do they know? I hope so. I’m pretty sure I tell Zac everyday lol jk.

9) You regret anything? No, same answer: "forget regret or life’s yours to miss."

10) Did you breakup with anyone in 2009? no

11) Did you make any new friends in 2009? Sort of I guess… if you count the people I worked for lol.

12) Who are your favorite new friends? Don’t know.

13) What was your favorite month of 2009? Toss up between the festivities of June and September

14) Did you travel outside of the US in 2009? No

15) Did you miss anybody in the past year? of course.

16) What was your favorite movie or show that you saw in 2009? see above!

17) What was your favorite song from 2009? Drake’s Best I Ever Had (lol), Keri Hilson “Knock You Down”, “You Belong with Me” – Taylor Swift, Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus (unfortunately lol), Single Ladies- Beyonce

18) What was your favorite record from 2009? A Strange Arrangement – Mayer Hawthorne, Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics -India.Arie, Fearless- Colbie Caillat, and although I haven’t bought the album itself yet: The Element of Freedom – Alicia Keys, and Glee Volume 1 and 2

19) How many concerts did you see in 2009? Two I think lol… Mayer Hawthorne with Angie and Colbie Caillat with Bellamay

20) Did you have a favorite concert in 2009? I liked both of them!

21) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009? No, I'm drug free, the way to be.

22) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Yeah probably…I can’t think of something off the top of my head.

23) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009? i don't remember... haha.

24) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009? yes I’m sure I did. :( I’M SORRY! I’ve made amends though.

25) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009? yes

26) How much money did you spend in 2009? way too much.

27) What was your proudest moment of 2009? GRADUATION.

28) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009? i have to think about that…

29) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be? I wouldn’t change a thing.

30) What are your plans for 2010? GET A JOB! Plan my life out, apply to grad school, start paying off my loans (yay grace period LOL), travel, find new ways to grow in faith, maintain friendships & relationships, be BRAVE, be HAPPY, be MYSELF & love love love anyway & always.

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posted by anna liza at 5:16 PM | 1 comments
1001th Post
Sorry I've neglected this blog for a couple of days. The past week has been pretty eventful. I celebrated Christmas with my family on the 26th and then on the 27th went to Vegas with a few family friends. They brought their kids so we did kid-friendly stuff that whole weekend including playing games at Circus Circus, visiting the M&M and Coke Factory (I hadn't been there in like 10 yrs!), taking in a shady magic show called Superstars of Magic in Downtown Las Vegas, shopping, and sightseeing. I got to gamble a little but I lost all $14 dollars that I gambled lol... better luck next time. It was fun though. Definitely not your typical vegas experience, that's for sure. Then yesterday Brenton & I celebrated our 2.5 yr monthiversary... I'm not sure if we should keep celebrating the halves but it was fun. We ate at Aloha Cafe, walked around Little Tokyo, went to the Huntington Library (It's really nice there!), ate dinner at Senor Fish and then watched Definitely Maybe. Today I went to Oinkster's for the first time with my brother. I had the ube shake. It was delicious. I need to check out more places in LA. I live here but I don't know why I haven't eaten at so many places. Anyway, my annual end of the year survey 2009 is coming up. I just finished it. YAY.

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posted by anna liza at 5:03 PM | 0 comments
Have a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year...
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thanks Angie for posting TLC's "sleigh ride"... I almost forgot about that song. I may have been relatively young when it came out but I'm old enough to appreciate the soothing Christmas sounds of Boyz II Men & TLC... that was until I hit the age of 12 or 13 and *N Sync, BSB, Britney & teenybopper music came into my life... in which case, my Christmas playlist consisted of the entire *N Sync Christmas Album, 98 Degrees's and Christina Aguilera's Christmas albums, Backstreet's "Christmas Time" & Britney's "Santa Can You Hear Me"... thank you Radio Disney.

This was one of the most low-key Christmases I've had in a long time. Christmas Eve involved waiting in line at Porto's with my brother, dropping off Brenton's Christmas gift & eating lunch at Molca Salsa, heading home & wrapping homemade lumpia and eating dinner before heading to the Cathedral 2 hours early to beat the crowd of "Christmas/Easter Catholics" for midnight mass.

Today I slept in a bit and then baked some red velvet cupcakes to bring to Gen's house. My mom & dad wanted to visit Nanay, Tita Vi & Tito Ogie so we brought them the lumpia & cupcakes we made for lunch. We hung out there for a few hours until we headed home. We rented Up! and The Hangover (because surprisingly, my mom has been wanting to see that movie for a while). We watched Up, wrapped a few more gifts, then watched The Hangover to end the night. Now I'm sitting in my room blogging.

I definitely have nothing to complain about. The celebration doesn't end today though. Tomorrow is my annual family Christmas party with my dad's side of the family! Secret Santa with the cousins + White Elephant. I'm excited... especially for the food.

I'm very grateful for everything I've been blessed with this past year, and this past decade. Gonna blog about both in the days to come :) Until then, Merry Christmas friends! Hope you felt God's Love today... and everyday.
posted by anna liza at 10:36 PM | 0 comments
Better to Give than to Receive
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I've come to the realization that although my Christmas will be a little different this year, the one thing that remains the same is the fact that He'll be here! It took 2 Simbang Gabi masses to really start reminding me of that.

Fr. Tino's homily on Sunday touched me. Granted, he spoke in tagalog the entire time so I found myself struggling to keep up. However, his message itself was as though God was speaking to me. It was no longer Fr. Tino but God. I wish I had written down what he talked about so that I could share it with you but my memory will have to do.

First he talked about being ready and prepared. He said that when you are expecting guests at the house, you always make sure your house is clean and presentable and you go through great lengths to make it feel like a home for your guest...cooking delicious food, ensuring that they have a comfortable room to sleep in and have a means of reliable transportation etc. He told us a story about how he was traveling to the Philippines and told his relatives he would arrive at 5 in the morning. Once he got out of the plane, he was looking for his ride home and looking for friends & family to be there and welcome him with open arms. When the time came, no one was at the airport waiting for him. He waited hours and someone finally appeared. He asked that person, "where were you? I've been waiting here. I thought you said you would be here at 5 this morning" and the person calmly replied, "I went to get coffee" as if to say that the guest could wait and the coffee was more important. As we get ready for Christmas, are we preparing ourselves for His arrival/birth? Are we doing the things we need to do to be holy & pure dwelling places worthy of His love? Or are we the slackers... are we putting other things before God? Are we allowing ourselves to be sidetracked by unimportant & petty things and losing sight of Jesus Christ in all of this?

Secondly, he talked about how we must know who we are waiting for. He compared it to a story about someone who was sent to pick up a priest name Fr. Manny at the airport. There were 2 Fr. Manny's at the parish: one was Filipino, the other was Indian. The person responsible for picking up Fr. Manny assumed that he was looking for the Filipino one and spent hours waiting for him...all the while imagining Fr. Manny to be this Filipino priest. It turned out that the Fr. Manny he was supposed to pick up was sitting next to him all along.

Another story was about this shoe/bag-maker who dreamt of Jesus one night... Jesus told him, "I'm coming to visit you in the morning. Get ready for my arrival." So the shoe/bag-maker finished all of the day's work so that he could close up shop early. He cleaned his store and prepared a meal and waited the whole day because he didn't know when Jesus would be coming. While waiting, a friend knocks on his store asking him to repair a bag for her. He tells her, "I'm waiting for someone important, can you go to someone else and ask them to repair it?" A few hours later, a child arrives asking for some spare change and the owner turns the child down saying "I've closed up shop today, can you come back tomorrow?" An old man appears a few hours later asking if his shop was open and the owner told him that it was closed for the day and to come back later. Frustrated by not having seen Jesus yet, the owner goes to sleep. In his dreams, Jesus appears again and the angry owner asks, "Where have you been?! I've been waiting for you all day?" And Jesus responds, "Well... I visited you 3 times and you denied me." This calls to mind the idea that how can we welcome Jesus into our lives if we don't know who we are looking for. Jesus is in every single person we meet... whether they are rich or poor, stranger or friend, old or young, Jesus is in them. By denying one of our brothers and sisters, we are closing Him off. During this season of advent, can you recall a time that you may have denied or turned away Jesus? Because I know I can. Each time I focus on myself or on superficial things like buying gifts instead of helping or being there for someone who truly needs me, I fail to see Him and fail to know Him.

Lastly, Fr. Tino mentioned making room for Jesus in our hearts in order to accept Him into our lives. This is such a simple concept to grasp and yet, it's so difficult to do. THIS is what I've been doing wrong all along. My heart hasn't saved room for His love. It is filled with everything BUT Jesus: worrying about financial problems, arguing with parents, fussing over gifts, being frustrated over the end of a tradition & the postponement of our annual Christmas celebration"... no wonder I'm having trouble finding God in all of this... because I've shut Him out completely. In the last few days leading up to Christmas, I'm determined to make room for Him in my life. He is, after all, the REAL reason for the season.

Praying for you.


P.S. More Simbang Gabi stories later.
posted by anna liza at 1:07 AM | 1 comments
filler
Monday, December 21, 2009
i will post a longer blog entry later. just got back from a filling lunch at noodle planet with kathy, brenton, adrian & joe.



p.s. happy 2 1/2 years brenton!!! 30 months & counting. that's a pretty long time man <3
posted by anna liza at 3:26 PM | 0 comments
FInding You
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The older I get, the harder it is for me to find that Christmas spirit or to get in that jolly mood. I guess that's just something that you learn to deal with as an adult and I don't know if I'll ever truly experience it again... until I have kids of my own and can look at it through a child's eyes. But being jolly, happy or excited isn't something that I'm looking to attain this season of Advent... I'm just looking to be joyful, hopeful & patient. I've been going to Simbang Gabi again this year... but I haven't been waking up at 4 in the morning to go like I used to. I just end up going to the 7pm masses at St. Columban. I'm a little disappointed in myself for that. I used to be so willing to wake up early and sacrifice a few hours of sleep in the morning to celebrate mass...and now I've sort of just taken the easy way out by going to mass later.

I've had to re-adjust to a lot of things this Christmas including the fact that my 12 year holiday Christmas eve tradition with friends is coming to an end this year. We have no holiday party or gift exchange. I think it hasn't truly hit me just yet but it does make me sad just thinking about it. My way of dealing with it is just ignoring it...hoping that my disappointment or sadness over it will disappear. I'm not mad. I'm just really disappointed that it has to end. This is a tradition that we've been doing since I was 10. I hate to see it end like this.

Also, instead of celebrating Christmas on the actual day... or a day or two before... this year we're celebrating Christmas the day after because a few of my cousins are married or are getting married and spending Christmas with their in-laws. We then have to reschedule the day we celebrate to accomodate for their personal schedules.

I just feel like I have no control over anything this year and it frustrates me. Nothing seems to be going the way we planned for it to go and there's nothing left to do but roll with the punches. I shouldn't be feeling this way right now...especially with Christmas being right around the corner.

Forget the gifts, forget the parties, forget the food, forget the music and decorations, Christmas is about Jesus Christ. Why am I whining about the insignificant, irrelevant things and forgetting the real "reason for the season"? I am looking for You in all of the wrong places.

For the next few days, I'm going to refocus.

This is not about me or him or her or them or us...this is about You.
posted by anna liza at 11:27 PM | 3 comments
Intern Queen
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I am basically racking up internships lol. I've got 4 under my belt already. I don't know how much longer I can intern, especially if it's for free. However, I am incredibly grateful for all the doors that my internships have opened for me.

Today I survived my first official JOB interview... not internship interview but job interview. I prepared for it like crazy last night printing out my resumes, "salary history" (although i don't quite have an extensive list yet lol), practicing interview questions, printing out directions, & planning out my outfit for this morning. My interview was at 9am and I left an hour early even though it was on Wilshire which is probably 10-15 minutes away from me. Good thing I did because when I got there, the parking structure that I thought I was supposed to park at (which was $14 for the day) wasn't the same one that they wanted me to park at. I didn't know Mariposa was a broken street. I was able to turn around and park at the actual structure... with a flat rate of $3.33 (with validation). I found the building and got there around 8:30! SUPER EARLY. I was the first one there and it gave me time to fill out the 4 page application.

The one thing I forgot to do was print out my list of references. LUCKILY, I remembered most of my contacts addresses/phone numbers. The only contact I really had trouble with was Forever 21... cause I only worked there for a month and didn't remember my boss's name LOL. Oh well. I was interviewing in a group of 15 people (2 left early so it became 13). The ages ranged from like college students to people who looked like they were in their 40s or 50s. It was pretty intimidating at first. They led us into this room around 9:15 and people were still filling out their applications. Then the Campus President, who was pretty laidback, came in and talked about the company and the position for exactly an hour. Then he left time for us to ask questions (I was able to ask one haha) and then we had a mini break and he interviewed us until 11. He only asked us 3 questions, which were interview questions I'd already heard of before.

1. Tell me why you are the best candidate for the job.
2. Tell me about your greatest accomplishment.
3. If you were the hiring manager, who would you hire in this room?

The questions weren't bad at all and I think I answered them confidently and supported my answers with my experiences. THANK YOU CAREER CENTER. seriously. He asked us to raise our hands if it was our first group interview and most people did. I'm glad that I've been in a group interview before... but never one that was this big. Anyway for the third question, 2 people picked me :) That must mean I've done something right. They said I seemed task oriented and confident... and they liked the experiences I talked about. I felt honored that they even considered me... especially bc I was applying for the job with a lot of qualified candidates. Most of them were in the process of getting their master's degrees. After the interview, they called us out one at a time and I got to chat with the people sitting next to me. A lot of them had apparently applied to a ton of jobs already and were getting very few calls back. This one guy who was my age from UC Merced told me that he took a security guard job just because it was an opportunity and he also said that he and his friends cried bc they haven't gotten jobs yet. I could empathize with him... although I wasn't quite sure how to react to his crying. It was a great first interview experience. I'm crossing my fingers for a second interview but until then, I'm content with how I did. Gotta keep applying.

I feel very motivated and after today, I actually feel more confident. Thank you for the prayers. It's funny how just the other day I was complaining about wanting it to be my turn and the day after I received a phone call for an interview. God is so good.

Okay I gotta go and type up stuff for my new gig at i am that girl.

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posted by anna liza at 2:43 PM | 2 comments
Anything I can do, I can do better.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Jealousy often comes hand in hand with comparisons. I hate when jealousy rears its ugly head because I never intend to feel bad about other people's achievements or success. I'm happy for them. I want to be happy for them but once in a while, I fall victim to comparison and questions like "what if?" or "why?"...questions that I will never have the answer to yet I still insist on asking. It's times like these when I have to ignore what's going on around me & just turn to Him and have faith in the fact that He knows. I have to remind myself to focus on what I have rather than on what I lack. Yet sometimes I still wonder, when will it be my turn? After all, I'm only human.

The LORD is my shepherd
I shall not want.
- Psalm 23
(23:1)
posted by anna liza at 12:25 PM | 0 comments
Reason for the Season
Monday, December 14, 2009
Gotta remind myself...

"Life is a constant Advent season: we are continually waiting to become, to discover, to complete, to fulfill. Hope, struggle, fear, expectation and fulfillment are all part of our Advent experience.

"The world is not as just, not as loving, not as whole as we know it can and should be. But the coming of Christ and his presence among us—as one of us—give us reason to live in hope: that light will shatter the darkness, that we can be liberated from our fears and prejudices, that we are never alone or abandoned.

"May this Advent season be a time for bringing hope, transformation and fulfillment into the Advent of our lives."

posted by anna liza at 1:27 AM | 0 comments
Confident & Poised.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Today was a GREAT day. It was my last day with Intern Queen... although yesterday was technically my last day. I finished my 16 page report right in the nick of time (around 1am yesterday morning).

Once I got to my boss's apt to meet her, she told me she had a surprise for me and I thought we were walking to Coffee Bean like we normally do, but she took me to this cute boutique called Weekends Only and told me I could pick out anything in the store as long as it wasn't over $30. I was kind of taken by surprise... but she encouraged me to look around and I did. She knew all the store owners... cause it's Toluca Lake lol but I walked away with an amazing assymetrical necklace... it's a gold ribbon type dangling necklace that I don't quite know how to describe (but I could totally draw it for you) and a turqoise scarf! I was like a giddy little school girl afterward lol.

After that we headed to LA to have coffee at Le Pain Quotidien (a small restaurant on Melrose) & meet with the Program Manager from Step Up... which is one of the companies I wanted to work for last year (Abby & Bmay MIGHT remember me mentioning them a few times last year lol). Lauren wanted to know how she could get more involved with the org so she took me along too because she knew I was interested in them and told me to bring my resume just in case. The lady was incredibly nice and allowed me to do a mini-informational interview with her while giving me advice at the same time...some of which was advice I'd heard before but it was nice getting to meet her, especially since I've been interested in that organization for a while. Anyway, she started asking me questions about my internship experiences & such and then asked for my resume.

Good news: She liked me a lot & asked for me to interview with her. (She just emailed me and told me that I was "confident & poised." Bad news: it's another internship and right now, I am pretty much my very own "Intern Queen" (Make-A-Wish, UCI Career Center, Intern Queen, & I am that Girl). I'm not sure how much more I can take just being an intern. This is where my mind works overtime.

I know I've said my past internships have been great opportunities but THIS one is one I've wanted for a while, could possibly offer me a stipend, would allow me to try my hand at not just grassroots start ups but a REAL, well-established non-profit, I wouldn't be working from home & at an office instead, I'd be working for the lady I met who seems super nice, it could POTENTIALLY lead to a full-time job (and she said so herself), I would be able to help plan a HUGE event called the Inspiration Awards which honors amazing women for their work, right now getting a job in the field I'm interested in doesn't just come by in the drop of a hat, you really have to know people and this internship would allow me to network with more people.

CONS: It is UNPAID for now, it is another internship, it's a 6 month long commitment, there is no really guarantee that I could be hired afterward, it would take away time from applying for a job, and I already committed myself to Alexis & i am that girl for the next 3 months. I've been so busy just juggling 2 internships that I haven't even been able to volunteer at Dress for Success.

This is another dilemma and I KNOW how much I need to help my parents out and give back to them (I'm reminded everyday about the costs of me working for other people for free) and I'm totally willing to get a part time job but I keep thinking I should take opportunities as they get handed to me especially while I'm young and can still do them!

I am so unwilling to compromise my dreams. I know they're not set in stone and I don't have any pressing goals right now but I want to follow my heart and my heart is telling me to take every opportunity I can get.

This is what I want ideally: I want to intern for iamthatgirl. I want to intern for Step Up Women's Network. I want to get a part-time job. I want to volunteer at Dress for Success.

I know I have to sacrifice something but it can't keep being a job. I'm willing to not volunteer if it means I can intern for Step Up and iamthatgirl.

I'm also at a point in my life where other people's opinions are important to me but I guess they don't matter as much as my own because in the long run, I'm in control of my own life and I should be able to steer myself in whatever direction I choose to. This wouldn't be such a dilemma if my dream careers were in Computer Science or Engineering or something stable that made a lot of money. Why can't I just want to be something else?

Anyway to continue with my great day, after coffee at Le Pain, we went to lunch next door at Urth Caffe, just me and Lauren and she went over my resume with me and told me what to add and I went over my final report with her. I had a sausage and potato omelette which was delicious and I had boba iced blended black tea which was also delicious. We also saw Kristin Cavallari from Laguna Beach/The Hills stardom there. It was pretty exciting...my first celeb siting in a while.

Life takes me on highs and lows that I can never imagine because when I got home, my day sort of plummeted but whatever. We'll get through this. I'll get through this. In the meantime, pray for me & my family please! Thank you.

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posted by anna liza at 1:02 AM | 2 comments
Don't Rain on my Parade
Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade
Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade
I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am ...

I'll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn't make it
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!


I love Rachel's/Lea's performance of that song on Glee...and I love the lyrics.


posted by anna liza at 12:16 AM | 0 comments
Last Day
Thursday, December 10, 2009
It's a bittersweet last day at Intern Queen for me. I have my regular call with Lauren at 11am and then it's the last time I have to sort through 40 of her emails and add them to my task list on gmail. It also means have to tie all the loose ends and wrap everything up. I am determined to do it. I finished report #2. That means one more to go... which I am hoping I will finish by tonight. Then tomorrow I'm accompanying my boss to a meeting with Step Up Women's Network and after that, we're gonna be eating at Urth Caffe in West Hollywood. I've never been. Hope it's good. Then that marks the end of this journey and my next one? Well my next one starts on Monday with iamthatgirl. I really need to make my job search a priority. I don't want to be the eternal intern but at the same time, at least I'm doing something. I have no idea where I'm headed but I trust You.

P.S. I really wish I had a job for Christmas money. Sorry if your gifts aren't so amazing this year. It's my first Christmas without some type of job since 06! lol.
posted by anna liza at 10:46 AM | 1 comments
typical of me
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
to blog when i have other things to do.

finished 1 of 3 final reports. i wrote 7 pages worth of material, single-spaced in 10 pt. font in a day and a half! i still got it :)

1 down, 2 to go!

but i am feeling very sleepy.


in other news, my brother's home for the first time in what feels like 2 weeks. he's gonna go back to school tomorrow though. he's got 3 more finals to take and then he gets to go snowboarding for the first time with his roomies.

well blog world, i have other updates but i should really get started on report #2. love you all. talk to you soon. FRIDAY = FREEDOM! haha this is like my very own finals week even though i'm not in school.
posted by anna liza at 11:31 PM | 0 comments
Dreamer
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I am a huge dreamer. I noticed that about myself lately. I love to conjure up these huge plans for my life... but I have trouble putting those plans into action or at least getting started. Starting is the hard part. It's like writing an essay. How many of us find ourselves completely stuck on the introduction? Maybe I'm spending too much time perfecting my introduction and not enough time writing the rest of my essay. I'm focusing on the present but what I really need to do is start preparing myself for the long run... for my future. It's great that I'm indulging myself in these real world experiences that allow me to grow and figure myself out in the process. But the play time has to end at some point and I gotta start making baby steps towards my long-term goals. Here's where I confront the question that I've been pondering for awhile now: what exactly are my goals?

Life, what am I gonna do with you? or more importantly, what are you gonna do with me?
posted by anna liza at 7:31 PM | 2 comments