ever since i got my license, i've successfully avoided having to drive on the freeway. although occasionally, i would drive to and from irvine in the company of my brother or mom. sometimes i dislike driving... it's mainly because of my fear of getting lost (especially in a bad area), my fear of getting a ticket or getting pulled over by the police, my fear of getting in an accident or my fear of hitting something or someone (call me irrational lol). i'd like to think that i'm usually a careful and cautious driver. it's funny though because i avoided it all throughout college but now i can't avoid driving on the freeway because i have to. for instance, last week i had to drive to toluca lake to meet my boss. no one was at home to give me a ride so i had to drive myself. it was a short trip anyway. i found out that tomorrow i have to drive to marina del rey which is a good 40 minute trip away from my house. i wouldn't mind having to drive there side street except it passes through crenshaw and i hate being in that neighborhood so naturally i only have one other option: to take the freeway. then on wednesday night i have to go to the same area again for the fashion event. but i'm not going to complain because i know that this is happening for a reason. i can't just rely on other people to give me rides anymore especially because i can drive myself...i just don't enjoy doing it lol.

anyway, yesterday was a day spent with both my dad's side and my mom's side of the family. the secret's out guys. i have a boyfriend and my older cousins all know. apparently, my cousin dan was so drunk at their rhymealong that he called me out and basically told my other cousins that he wants to meet brenton and that he won't judge him... he's a belligerent drunk though so who knows what else he said. right when i got to the party in sd, two of my older guy cousins asked me why they haven't met him yet and i was super quiet and put a pillow over my face. you'd think by now, having known me my entire life, they'd realize how shy i am, especially about things like this. most of them were understanding... some of them were ugh whatever. alex thought i was gonna cry lol. anyway after that awkwardness ended, we played apples to apples. i still love that game. we also ate a ton of food including super sergio's! yum! it was the smallest amount of carne asada fries that i've ever eaten in one sitting because i only took 2 scoops of it. when we left, my cousins told me to go to the rhymealong and said "with"... of course alluding to brenton. i'm almost 100% sure that he's gonna be fine when he meets them, i'm more worried about me. btw, ANGIE? JANICE? NIMZ? anyone else into hip hop, come to the rhymealong- hip hop karaoke event hosted by my cousin in 2 weeks. please? lol bc i think i'm gonna be there too.

after SD we went to long beach to queen mary to meet up with my cousin from the philippines (my mom's nephew) whom i never met before in my life. he's a sailor i think or he works on a ship for months at a time and gets to travel the world. he's 34 years old. he's pogi though and i'm not just saying that. he really is hahah. my mom looked like she was gonna cry when she saw him bc it's been literally 23 yrs since she last saw him... he was 11! anyway we decided to eat with my other aunt & uncle at this AYCE korean bbq place in lakewood. it was only 10 bucks a person! but that didn't include bulgogi :( it was nice catching up with them. my mom's side of the family is way different from my dad's side... but that's also bc all of my dad's siblings are in america and all of my mom's siblings are in the philippines. btw please pray for all those affected by the typhoons in the philippines. a few of my relatives live in/around the areas that have been flooded :( we have yet to hear from them.

anyway, that's what's going on in my life right now. i better get ready. i'm going to la mirada to meet with brenton & then we're going to MOTP! i haven't seen my friends in like 2-3 weeks! praying for you all.

introducing my all time favorite mural from hawaii:









What if I want to make the irrational rational?
What if I believe that the dreams I have for myself & for my future won't just remain "dreams"?
What if I know that if I set my mind to it & put my heart in it, I can achieve at least half of the things that I want to achieve in this lifetime?
What if I'm willing to take a chance on what others may dismiss as fleeting, momentary desires or aspirations?
What if I take a path that's unique to those of the people around me?
What if I let go of what others expect me to do and just follow my heart and see where that takes me?

I'm excited for this next chapter of my life because I feel like I'm starting to live for myself and I have complete support & encouragement from the people who love me. It's the most liberating feeling in the world to believe that you can do anything and I do not want to let this feeling pass me by and fail to act on it. I know that once reality hits, I will no longer feel this way. After all, the one thing you can expect from life is change... change is constant. This sudden confidence & idealistic way of thinking won't last forever but at least for the time being, I want to revel in it and make the most out of it.

Today I drove to Toluca Lake in North Hollywood and met with my supervisor at Coffee Bean. She is only 25 and runs her own company that she built from scratch. She said that her dream was a long time coming. When she graduated from college in 06, she began working for a talent agency but she couldn't seem to shake off the dream that she had to start her own business. She described it as being a "thorn in her side" that wouldn't go away. As luck would have it, she crossed paths with a big-time producer and once he heard about what she wanted to do, which was start a business that would help students find hard-to-reach internships, he told her "what are you waiting for? quit your job and I'll pay for it." So he gave her the money to start up her business and 2 years later, she's appeared on various TV news shows, she's networked with hundreds of employers, she's pitched her start-up company to colleges all across America and is looking to expand her company internationally. That takes guts. I know that a couple of people may be iffy when I tell them that I'm currently an unpaid virtual intern for an entrepreneur that they've never heard of in their life. Even my mom thought it was fishy. But I jumped at the chance to do it because I figured, I'm only young once, I'm living at home and need something to do while searching for a real job, I love the fact that I'd still be helping others but in a different way, and it'll be a great resume booster, and a rare opportunity to network with people from a variety of different industries (entertainment, education, non-profit). It seemed only right that I gave it a shot. It made sense to me at least. Last night I had a long talk with my mom and she realized that this internship was not a joke. Sure, I'm working from home but I'm learning a lot of relevant transferrable skills and it's nice to find another mentor outside of UCI (although I've loved all of my past bosses), especially one so close to my age. Anyway, today over coffee, we talked about everything from her experience starting up her business to my plans for my future. I'm still at the stage where I'm keeping my options open but I can't wait for the day when I have that job that makes me want to get up in the morning and start my day. I not only want to love what I'm doing but believe in it as well. As far as I'm concerned, each work & internship experience brings me one step closer to my future.

On a lighter note, I finally got to hang out with Brenton yesterday! We ate at a Chinese place in Alhambra and then I watched him & Joe play tennis and then I played guitar hero world tour with joe and then later we met up with Mattman and had dinner with him. I like days like that where I can just spend time with friends :)

I can say it again and again but I'm blessed and it's all because of You.

this picture calls to mind a lot of things. i feel sorry for those who can't be vulnerable or who don't allow themselves to be vulnerable because by being so closed off you're not only missing out on life, you're missing out on love.

i'm happy because i know that i've done the best i can to love those around me and to love myself.

i've learned to forgive but i really need to work on learning to forget... or at least to let go.

...you make it extremely difficult.

positivity engulfs my life and i like it. i like it a lot. i only wish the same for you.

treat others the way you want to be treated. easier said than done huh?

p.s. TV & I have reunited and it feels SO GOOD.

life is not at all that bad my friends. it really isn't. i think we're the ones who make it so. i may not have a job yet (that's all on me and not on God) but i've been blessed enough to have a family that's willing to support me in whatever i decide to do and a family that can afford to support me financially... for now at least. my internship is going well. i'm getting the hang of things and next wednesday, my supervisor told me that i'm going to be helping out with a fashion event in Beverly Hills... it sounds glamorous but we'll see how it actually ends up. i'm not gonna lie though. i'm pretty excited. i'm trying not to get my hopes too high up. i'm learning a lot about the business already.

i might be missing out on Tuesday night rosary, praise & worship, & fellowship with LoG but i'm nurturing my faith in a new way by attending 5:30pm novena & mass with my mom on Wednesdays. although i've only gone to 2 masses since I've been home (because we were in hawaii last week), i'm hoping & praying that i will continue to be open to this new experience. it's so easy to succumb to laziness and opt out of going to mass on a weekday, especially when it's this hot and since ihm has no AC lol but i feel like i need to do this for myself and for You. moving away from irvine is not an excuse to drift further away from You. here's to new beginnings.

today Fr. talked about the beauty of accepting our crosses & suffering with Love. it's one thing to accept our crosses. it's another thing to do it in Love. how many of us actually love to hurt or feel pain? it takes courage to accept the obstacles & trials that are placed in front of us but i think that it takes a lot of strength to accept these challenges & burdens lovingly. it's a true test of Faith, especially for us being the humans that we are. we are weak. we are easily discouraged. we have doubts. that's what makes Mama Mary all the more inspiring because like us, she was truly human and yet she willingly offered herself up to Him; she willingly said "yes" to His plans for her. at this point in my life, i'm not sure that I can fully surrender myself & my misgivings to Him and say "Yes Lord, I am ready to do Your will" just yet. my humanness, my insecurities, and my doubts still manage to get in the way. but i pray that when the time comes for me to just offer up who I am for who I'm meant to be and when i feel ready to do so, that i may find the courage to accept His will and more importantly, draw strength from Mama Mary to accept it with Love and in Love.

praying for you always.

hope that you are having a great week and for those of you starting school, i hope welcome week has been going well.

<3

I am tired. Who knew that working from home could still be this tiring? It's probably because I've spent most of my time today in front of the computer or on the phone making calls. Day 3 of my virtual internship... but I count it as day 2 and it's definitely kept me busy. My schedule right now consists of starting the day at 11am with a phone call from my boss who emails me a list of various assignments or things that she wants done that day. I get a TON of emails. I try not to get too overwhelmed by them all. It's crazy how I feel like I'm in an office but I'm really at home. Today I had to create 3 different excel spreadsheets for various purposes, I had to call 5 entertainment companies (including Marie Claire, LionsGate, and E!) and talk to their HR people to ask if they were receiving the services they needed and see if they needed anything else (talk about instant networking). I had to call various news stations/studios (NBC, CBS, ABC, etc.) to ask if they had morning shows produced "in-house" for my supervisor's press speaking tours and then I had to ask for their contact info. I had to update 2 twitter accounts with internship listings and cross post internships onto Craigslist. It's been one long but interesting day. I'm learning that running your own business takes a lot of work. I don't think I'd ever be fit to be an entrepreneur but it's nice testing out what it would be like to work in an industry other than education or nonprofit - which is what I have experienced already. I think she also mentioned grabbing lunch in LA some time soon... which sounds very LA in itself.

A part of me wishes that I got paid for this but it's definitely valuable experience and it's something I've never done before. It's also teaching me about an aspect of business (entrepreneurship) that I never really knew about. On top of all that, I have the luxury of working from home, I can choose when I can take a break and I can just do things on my own pace. It's funny how even though I'm working from home, I don't check facebook or twitter unless it's for work purposes... which is frequently the case with twitter. Maybe it's a work mindset that's been ingrained in me since I started working. All I know is that I've already started networking with a couple of people and I need to file away their contact information. Who knows where this might take me? In the mean time, I still need to keep my eyes open and look for a paid job. I can't afford to be picky but I also can't afford to settle.

The job search is different from the career search. I think in the long run, I see myself getting a master's degree and pursuing a career in education or social services. Counseling as an occupation has always been the first thing that comes to mind. I love helping and serving other people. But the idealistic 22 yr old in me seems to constantly search for something "better"... something that's out of my reach. For me right now, an ideal but hard-to-come-by 9-5 job would be working for Disney as a "Studio Diversity Asst." (that is an actual position) or working for E! in Human Resources or Public Relations even though my major was not even slightly related to Public Relations, Communications or Economics/Business. That's me dreaming big... but who says I can't? I'm only young once.

In other news, living at home is not bad at all. Other than the fact that I'm usually home alone while my parents are at work. I get fed 3 times a day! LOL. Today my mom made spaghetti for lunch. Last night my mom made porkchops for dinner. It's a good way to live. Although I know I should start cooking for myself too even if I'm living at home. My room is cozy! I still need to reorganize my closet though. I don't have much to complain about. But I do miss having people my age around me. My brother's back at UCLA so I'm basically my only companion right now lol. I miss praise&worship, I miss studying at CSL and running into people on ring road, I miss late night roommate talks, and more importantly, I miss going to Liwanag meetings. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not gonna be making it to every Tuesday night meeting. It's Tuesday night and I'm not gonna be at Servant Leader Mass to kick off the new school year. I'm still trying to figure out where He is calling me to serve but I know for sure that He's calling me to be here at home right now.

As for Hawaii, it was definitely an amazing and eye-opening experience. I rode the plane for the first time ever and although I closed my eyes for the take-off on the ride there... and needed to use my inhaler at first because I was so anxious LOL... I was much better on the plane ride home. There was very little turbulence and I actually played with my brother's DS on the way back which made time go by faster... (i still want a DS LOL). I loved being in HI. I loved the friendly people who greeted me with "Aloha's" every time I talked to one of them. I loved the laid back atmosphere/vibe that I got just by walking along the relatively safe streets. I loved the MUSIC on the radio! SO CHILL! LOL. I plan on listening to hawaiian radio stations online now. I loved the beautiful breathtaking scenery that I would see simply by looking out my window in the morning. I loved being able to walk to the beach from my hotel. I loved the fact that people called you "cousin" and considered you family/ohana. I loved their values and their contagiously positive attitudes. I loved everything about Hawaii. It was nice to just spend time with my parents & my brother in a place that was completely new and unfamiliar. Of course, family vacations are never entirely perfect and there were minor obstacles we faced while trying to "hang loose." But ultimately, this trip made me realize the importance of having a family that loves you. We watched a new show at the Polynesian Cultural Center (where there were many hot guys LOL). It was called "Ha: The Breath of Life" and it told a touching story about the circle of life and the relationship that a son has with his parents as he grows older. It reminded me of the Lion King actually. It also went hand in hand with the homily that we heard when we went to St. Augustine by the Sea. It was about taking care of the very people that took care of you. It also reminded me of the brevity and the temporary nature of life. During this vacation, it felt good to just be able to give back to my parents who have sacrificed so much of themselves for us...even if it meant spending a little more money than we planned to. If you didn't know, my brother paid for our tickets to Hawaii. I strive to be as giving and as selfless as he is because he never measures the love that he shares with others especially with our parents. During this trip, I found myself frustrated a couple of times, especially when things didn't go as planned. Hawaii & I are total opposites of each other. Hawaii's laid back. I'm constantly stressed. I still managed to be stressed in paradise lol. Anyway with that being said, after seeing that show, I resolved to love my parents, my friends, my family, myself, God, strangers, enemies, and life with all that I am. I can't be selfish especially when it comes to my parents who I owe my life to. Thank you Hawaii! I MISS YOU ALREADY! I came back feeling very much refreshed and rejuvenated.

And thank you for reading this entire entry. It was pretty long. Mahalo!

Aloha,
Anna

thoughts:
back in LA.
i loved hawaii and didn't wanna leave.
"hang loose"
breathtakingly beautiful scenery.
i'm going back there some day.
detailed entry later.

on a completely irrelevant note, i miss Liwanag.

bullet point time:

• i got a new haircut. it's short again. my head feels lighter! and i have bangs again. refer to picture below (sidenote: i know how it looks like... but i am not a narcissist. my friend rachelle made that painting of me in the background LOL.)
• i started my first day as an intern at Intern Queen Inc. for Lauren Berger. i work from home so i'm liking it already!
• i have a 2nd interview for a different internship tomorrow... ahhh i need to prepare for it some more but my mind's been so preoccupied with other things.
• i love reuniting with old friends. (courtesy of darlene's iphone... i want one just for this app)
• i still need to pack for hawaii. it shouldn't take me TOO long. it's only from wed- sun.
• i'm gonna be on a plane soon!!!! :D :) :O
• i need to find a paid job.
• my room is starting to finally come together. pictures below.

• mayer hawthorne is AMAZING. i had an amazing time at the concert. thanks angie for letting me come along! we missed you janice!
• i miss sushi imari. LAWL.
  
• life at home is good but i do miss my LoG family. A LOT.
  
• i don't know if i have time to blog tomorrow so if i don't, i'll see ya when i see ya.
  

love you! <3

the past two days have been fun! yesterday i picked up trina & we hung out at the galleria and then had a late lunch with paul & darlene at BJ's for paul's 22nd. then i went home and went to mass/novena at ihm with my mom. today paul picked me and trina up and we went to cafe brasil on venice (my first time there). it was delicious. i had the executive lunch which included chicken, fried plantains, rice, salsa and black beans. after that we went to milk and i had a milkie way malt. it was sweet but it was good! fun times with friends. i am so full right now.

to top all of that off, i came home today and found out that i got one of the internships i applied to! i am now an intern for Intern Queen Enterprises! I don't think I told very many of you but i applied for that internship a few weeks ago and then i had a phone interview with her (the "intern queen" aka Lauren Berger) last Friday and she emailed me back today and told me i got it. i think i'm gonna take it. the internship is from september to november and it's 3-4 days a week and i'd be working from home. i would be helping her with her speaking tour and her job/internship listing site. it seems like a great opportunity. i also have another phone interview for an internship with Starlight Children's Foundation this Friday. pray for me!

i also really need to get a paid job though. ok i gotta get ready for the mayer hawthorne concert tonight with angie!!!!!!! yayyyy.

p.s. abby, i wish i was there to celebrate your beautiful 22 year old self! i'm with you in spirit. i love you very much!!!!!! hope you have lots and lots of fun tonight! <3

(thanks cheryl)

1. Don’t worry.
Worry is the least productive of all human activities and thoughts.

2. Don’t let needless fears preoccupy your life.
Most of things we fear never happen!!!

3. Don’t hold grudges.
That is one of the biggest and most unnecessary weights we carry through our lives.

4. Take on one problem at a time.
It’s the only way to handle things anyway; one by one.

5. Don’t take your problems to bed with you.
They are bad and unhealthy companions for good natural sleep and rest.

6. Don’t take on the problems of other people.
They are better equipped to handle their own problems than you are.

7. Don’t live in the past.

It will always be there in your memories to enjoy. But don’t cling to it. Concentrate on what is happening right now in your life and you will be happy in the present and not just the past.

8. Be a good listener.
It is only when one listens that one gets and learns ideas different from ones own.

9. Do not let frustration ruin and rule your life.
Self pity more than anything interferes with positive actions with moving forward in our lives.

10. Count your blessings.
Don’t even forget the smallest blessings. As many small blessings add up to large ones.

i wake up relatively early (for me) and i get sleepy earlier but that doesn't mean i sleep when i should. like right now, i should be sleeping but i'm not. my boxes of stuff have decreased in number. i am winning this battle. i rearranged my bedroom furniture. now my bed and my desk are in different places. i am also planning on assembling my bookshelf soon! it is all coming together... soon enough, i'll be settled in and i'll have a job/internship. HOPEFULLY!

anyway, i wish i could've tagged more than 50 people in that facebook thing.

ok i'm gonna sleep now gnight!


HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY ABBY! I LOVE YOU! <3

day 1 of life at home consisted of going to the 4pm tagalog mass at ihm, going grocery shopping at jons market for fruits & veggies with my mom (cause it's cheaper there), and eating h.salt fish & chips for dinner (yum!!!!)

today... or an hour ago was day 2 of life at home. so last night i was a "lola" and slept at 11:30pm but i woke up at 9:30. then i ate breakfast (heart2heart cereal) and ended up watching the designstar marathon on tv (i love that show) and then i watched a bit of degrassi until i ate lunch (beef nilaga & rice! yum!) then i switched back and forth between dog whisperer (i also love that show) and cake boss. after that, i went with my mom and brother to ikea and we bought a tv stand, a bookshelf for me (bc it was only 25 dollars!) and some storage boxes for my room... now that i think of it, i'm probably gonna need more. i ate a slice of pizza at ikea! then we went home. then i began cleaning up my room again (this is gonna be at LEAST a week long project). i ate again at like 9pm! a very late dinner... my mom made lettuce cups with chicken! it was good. now i am chatting with people. wow i live such a fun and exciting life hahahah.

i actually like it here for now. my bed is no longer on the floor, i can eat home cooked meals (and save money i'd use on food for other things like room furniture).... but what i can't stand is all of the stuff i have! like i said a few entries ago, i feel suffocated sometimes. luckily i threw like 2 bags of stuff out today. i have way more to throw out tomorrow. i can't wait till i'm finally settled. then the whole job search process won't feel as frustrating or overwhelming because everything will be in order.

tomorrow, i'll probably go to target or ikea and get more storage stuff.

oh yeah, i'm leaving for hawaii in almost exactly 1 week! i'm gonna be on a plane for the first time ever. pray for me please! :)

until next blog...

"Don't stop this train, Don't for a minute change the place you're in"

It's my very last day in Irvine for a while. Last night was the best way to close off my time here: praise & Worship and singing the "Our Father" one last time with a family that I've grown to love so much. Looking around made me smile. It was Liwanag past, present & future all in one room. The alumni turn out was AMAZING. Praise God! And Angie did an incredible job putting it all together. Thank You.

I've been feeling really reflective lately especially of the past 4 years. I'm happy & content with my life and especially with the way that things have turned out. I can't complain because He has blessed me with so much. I am nothing but thankful. Yesterday was eye-opening and though we were there to serve the new core, I felt as though I was still being served. I learned a lot and I'm ready for my next chapter in life. I'm sad to be leaving all of this behind. But I know that this experience extends far beyond college. It's fo' Life.

Dear Irvine,

Thank you for the memories (both good & bad), thank you for all the AMAZING people you've introduced me to these past four years: Liwanag, PASS, Vista, Career Center, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th yrs & alumni alike... and also the Registrar's Office. They have made a lasting impression on me and I know I will carry on many of these friendships even after I leave here. Thank you for all the opportunities that you've given me to love & be Love[d] to & by others. Thank you for allowing me to grow into the young woman that I am today. Thank you for your beautiful campus, ring road, and the dirt paths through Aldrich Park that I walked through to get to class. Thank you for the Student Center & CSL where I spent restless nights & days studying... or facebooking lol. I will miss running into people that I know while I'm trying to study or write a paper. Thank you for my professors. Although I didn't get to know all of them personally, I learned a lot from them. Thank you for my old roommates from Berkeley Court & my new roommates from Shawshank. I will cherish the time that I spent at both places. Thank you for my incomparable first year experience and for my RA Kenny Loo who cared a lot about me and made sure I was comfortable and not homesick and for my LoG alumni, co-directors (rica&angie) and family leaders (joe & erwin) who took care of me like I was their little sister. Thank you for friendships that are still burgeoning and friendships that have fallen apart. Thank you for the gift of forgiveness & reconciliation. Thank you for second chances. Thank you for reminding me that life always goes on. Thank you for those late phone calls to or from other people because they tended to be the most intimate conversations that I've ever had in my life. Thank you for my late night/early morning talks with my roommates (bernie AND abby&bmay). Thank you for all the food places I found out about and tried and love... SHOUTOUT to Albatros, Alerto's, Alejandro's, Ruby's, Sonic, Red Robin, TGIF, Lucille's, D&B's, Yardhouse, RA Sushi, Wholesome Choice, Tenko, Honda Ya, Claimjumper, Joe's Crabshack, Cham Sut Gul (sp?), Cal Beach, Yen, and MOST ESPECIALLY SUSHI IMARI! LOL <3 Thank you for the beaches! Thank you for the sunny weather. Thank you for the clean air & the clear skies. Thank you for the safety that I felt living here. Thank you FOR EVERYTHING! There's more but I can't remember right now. I love you. Zot zot zot! Anteaters for life :)

Dear Blogger,

Thank you for capturing these past four years. You've given me the gift of memories frozen in time. Now because of you I can look back fondly on who I used to be & compare it to who I am now.

Signing off... for the very last time as a Shawshank '08-09 Resident,
Anna Liza

P.S. I love you.
P.P.S. I'll miss you. Don't forget about me. I'm only an hour away!

Labels: blog, irvine, liwanag, UCI

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

these are things that i continue to strive for.

today was a good day (as ice cube says). i had lunch with my good friend mel, i ran errands, i got a pedicure with jamie & kim and ate at red robin with them + jamie's brother, i watched Paper Heart with jamie & kd and then we went to surprise Christian for his 19th birthday (i am getting old). i don't think the day could get any better than that. day 2 of being unemployed and i have nothing to complain about except maybe the fact that i stopped making money. time to continue living the GOOD life (one of Faith, Hope, & Love).

how beautiful it is to be able to respond yes to that question.



we all need these reminders once in a while.