miles of air and road and land / separate me from all my plans / we're havin' havin' havin' havin' fun / but something something tells me I miss someone
=P

i've just been "studying" the whole day... i haven't even gotten through half of the things i need to cover. ugh. i didn't know that the summer school load was this heavy. i hope i can keep up. i designate TOMORROW my study day...and monday too i guess. i don't have much time to study tonight because i'm hanging out with the ring sister! ichiban & a movie. what a glendale thing to do.

i hope everyone's been having a good weekend.

p.s. i got my permit again & this time i actually like my picture. i'm on the road again foools. watch out.

p.p.s. happy birthday pat! '01 reunion when you get back! gia, kai & i will help plan it hahah jk you can!... bon voyage gen & jr. have fun in paris. i'll miss you. when you come back, we can play warioware again haha... trina hope you're okay & that your family's okay too. the end.

lame.

what's also lame is this "crossing over" that i'm apparently experiencing right now.
jury duty, wisdom teeth (they're growing! :/ ), people younger than me at work, what has this world come to?

anyway, aside from the adulthood business, i listened to backstreet boys ALL day today & i don't care what anyone says.

BSB takes me back... back to the time when i was a preteen with huge glasses & braces, when i collected BOP, BB, & Tigerbeat magazines and put the centerfold posters of Nsync & BSB on my wall and used binders for the sole purpose of inserting my ripped 8 and a half by 11 inch sized pictures of Nick Carter & Scott Robinson into the front sleeve, when i bought Spice Girl candy/lollipops from the ice cream truck in daycare, when the boys in my class had Britney Spears folders, when "I want you back", "as long as you love me" and "hit me baby one more time" were some of the most top played songs on Jojo's top 9 at 9, when Carson Daly ruled MTV, when i bought the Nsync & Britney hitclips & video from McDonald's and the BSB unreleased CD's and videos from Burger King, when Gia & I cried at a BSB concert because we didn't take our cameras with us and we were in the 4th row, when I cried because I couldn't get tickets to the No Strings Attached concert when 5ive was gonna be the opening act (even though they ended up dropping out), when i made my mom buy me 99 cent videotapes at the 99 cents store so that i could tape every nsync & bsb appearance on tv, when i bought pop cd's the day they came out in hopes that my one purchase would boost record sales, when i'd watch MTV and envy the fans featured in MTV Fanatic, when the D.A.R.E. police officer assigned to my 6th grade class asked us who was better, "NSync or BSB" and sparked one of the most intense arguments I've ever witnessed in my life... Joey , Camille, & Kathleen vs. Ten, Gen, Gia, Krizel, & Janice, when I would memorize Nsync dance moves, when my biggest worry was missing the TRL world premiere of a new Nsync/BSB video.... back to the time when life was SIMPLE.

and then i wake up and realize that the year is 2007, not 1997 & that I'm no longer at IHM but at UCI & that DVD players have replaced VCR's & that emo has surpassed pop in popularity & that Nsync is broken up & Lance is gay, Fumanskeeto is non-existent, Justin's gone solo, Britney is divorced with 2 kids & a shaved head, Brian & Kevin are both married with families, AJ has now been sober & drug-free for 6 years (go AJ!), nick's dysfunctional family has been his only source of income for a while,....NSync, Backstreet, & Britney are featured on shows like Behind the Music instead of TRL, & life as we know it is not always as sweet as pop songs make it out to be.

but hey, there's always the reunions.

spice girls, anyone?

"B minuses are the new F's"- my Soc 10 professor

my right ear is clogged. i can feel it. ugh. maybe i have an ear infection. my mom's gonna make me see the doctor. i know it.

i have a midterm on tuesday already! summer school's a little too fast-paced for my liking.

we still need to renew our lease. i gotta go to the leasing office tomorrow before i go home.

this guy at work is trying to compete with me. he wants to beat my 900 lines in 2 hours data entry. ugh these youngins are making me work more. it's not a competition and yet somehow it is. i feel like i have to step it up.

i'm gonna play harvest moon, take a typing test, decorate my binder, & read tonight. yes, a night at home. i haven't had one of those in a while.

no expectations :/
but it's tough.

who knew listening could be so difficult?

i just want you to be happy. i hope you're happy.

i'm sorry for disappointing you.

it hurts to see you struggle.

the one opportunity i get to help, i can't. i'm terrible.

i hate frustrating you.

i hope you don't think any less of me.

thank You for loving me even when I feel like i'm unloveable. You never fail me.

you know. You always do.

i'm going to change into my PJ's now. yeah, it's only 8:12pm. what a homebody. praying for you all.

p.s. highlight of my day: watching the (GSA?) kids outside of SST dancing & singing to "We're all in this together."

remind me why i'm taking summer school again?

cause i hate quizzes & homework.

early to rise.

sleeping early makes me happy. i've been getting 8 hours lately and i hope this trend continues. i woke up at 7 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep so i chatted with bernie until she went to class and fell asleep again.

summer school! 1st day! new school supplies! i hope i don't have to buy too many new books. speaking of books, i should go to the bookstore today or something and buy them. more money. yuck. i need to sell lots of books too.

i'm glad my brother lent me his ds for this week. i'll find time to use it.
good lookin' out.

i'm back in irvine so let's have lunch or dinner or something. yay.

okay i'm gonna get ready for the day now.

praying for YOU and your families. don't worry, everything will be okay, He's got you.

Summer '07 (so far):

family & friends


at the start of summer break i said that i didn't want to be home but now that i'm home i've gotten so used to it that i don't want to leave. it doesn't help that most of my old friends are actually gonna be in L.A. all throughout break. lucky people.

but there's work to be done and grades to be earned and things to accomplish so off to irvine i go... in a few hours. i feel like taking a nap again. i'm sleepy.

i wish i read as much as i used to. i guess there's still time to change that this summer but we'll see. so many plans, so little time. i shouldn't waste my time in front of the computer (FACEBOOK) but it always gets me.

time to watch ASAP mania. ttyl!

note to self: put all my effort in everything i do. half doesn't cut it.

wow, i know this isn't the end of the world but this really really really sucks!!!!!!!

this week has been such a rollercoaster for me. there's been an alternation of up's and down's, up's and down's.

i need to learn from all the downs and carry on somehow.

today reminded me that there's no such thing as perfect.

i will try harder.

i feel like i'm lacking in the self-confidence department again. ugh. i was supposed to come back feeling rejuvenated and all i'm feeling right now is disappointed. i'm disappointed in myself. i could've done better, i could've done more but i can't & all i can do now is roll with the punches. whatever that means.

all i want to do now is sleep my frustration away and hope that tomorrow makes everything better... but i know tomorrow won't :/

djkhlsdjglaskdgjsladgjkalsdghlasdgj

...i know there's a reason for this & i just have to get past my selfish & broken perspective to see Yours. help me see You in this.

despite all the bad things this week, there's been a lot of good and I know that it's because of You. thank You for all the blessings You've given me lately, especially these past couple of weeks. thank You for the love You've shown me through my friends & my family & for all the time i've been able to spend with them lately. i love You.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

it's true. things will not always go my way. help me let go and let You work through me and in my life. help me trust in Your way, Lord God.

"liza, the challenges in life will only make you stronger."

i think i'll need a lot of challenges because I'm pretty weak.

prayers for you, me, & everyone this summer. it'll be a tough journey but we can get through it together :)

junior year, you're already pushing my buttons =P

i watched Behind the Music: Backstreet Boys this weekend... and dude if BSB can bounce back, so can I.

yo' friends?

today.

i'll try.

progress. i think if anyone's responsible for hindering it, it's me.

i need to let myself grow.

did you notice that this year i've been less inclined to blurt out "foom"?

lately i've been quieter & a little less open with my feelings. i guess i don't feel the need to think out loud. if something needs to be said, i'd much rather say it directly to the person than to a third party. the most important thing to me right now is that i know how i feel. honestly, if you ask me a question, there's a good chance that i might not answer it the way you want me to or that i might offer a general response instead of going in depth. sorry, it's those dumb walls, i tell you. oh life.

how am i? i am content. seriously.

thank you for the talk tonight... can we catch up for a longer time, soon? it was way overdue.
all i want is for you to smile for real :) i've missed you. we will make time for each other for sure.
hey, i don't hate you, in fact it's very much the opposite of that. believe me please, thanks :)
i'm never tired of listening to you. the choice is yours. i've got your back always. i<3u.
you are like my reality check. thank you for checking up on me.
i worry about you more often than i should but it's because i care.
i know you worry about me & i know you are just concerned with how i'm doing, i'll let you know soon enough.
i miss your face.
sige ikembot foo.
thank you for EVERYTHING and i mean everything. i still don't know how i could have possibly deserved it but i'm grateful :)
you're something else.

in time.

yay no jury duty.
yay for dinners with fun friends.
yay for immac pandas.

Juror #6,

You are dismissed.

that's a weight off my shoulders.

this summer vacation so far has been the complete opposite of what i expected. it's been just as stressful as being in school!

plus, this civic duty has pretty much cancelled most of my plans for the week (including an important test that i'm supposed to take). it all depends on tomorrow. i have to report bright and early at 9am. looking on the positive side, i suppose it's better than 7:45am but still too early to be waking up on a summer day.

so much for a relaxing summer vacation.

but i gotta handle whatever life throws at me... and lately it's been throwing a lot. it's practically hitting me in the face.

i just read gp's blog... he's right... "put your game face on"

that is what i intend to do this week and the rest of this year.

ohlife, ohbrother.

all i've been doing since i got home is playing neopets online or playing cooking mama on my brother's ds. yes his ds :P it's a stress reliever i guess. i'm gonna bring that and my ipod with me to jury duty tomorrow. woohoo. but not really. hope everyone else is having a fun break. see some of you next week.

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

i don't know what to blog about...so
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :]

just kidding.

i'm home for the week.

i was so excited to go home but now that i'm here, i'm not as excited.

congratulations james! yay graduates! i've been up since 7. i fell asleep on the car ride from irvine to alhambra. apparently i look a lot like my auntie lita. my auntie didi showed me a picture and said "what are you doing here?" and i looked at it and thought it was an actual picture and I was like "whoa i don't remember this being taken. who are these people?!" and then my auntie didi tells me that it wasn't me in the picture, it was my auntie lita. i look eerily like her for some reason. my cousins got a kick out of it & frances keeps calling me anna lita :P and when my cousin al left, he said "bye mom" dumb. anyway, fun times with the family.

i have some business to take care of.

good-byes are tough but i know you'll be okay, we'll all be okay! trust in Him, right?

I now have two years of college under my belt. Two more to go!

I'm a THIRD year?!

yeah i know, i can't believe it either.

well, it looks like i have one week to hang out before i start summer school. of course i can hang out during summer school but one week to just hang out without worrying about school again. i'm free!

this next week for me looks like this:
today- bonfire
saturday- uci ics graduation @ 9 & lunch with the grad afterwards
sunday- helping alex make a gift for his mentor & maybe ucla's p-grad w/ him
monday- jury duty
tuesday- hopefully game day at gia's apt.

yay one week of summer! i'm gonna think positively. starting... now.

CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2007!
Maybe it hasn't hit me yet that next year I won't be seeing your faces on campus or at mass or even in a class. Maybe I'm just trying not to think about it. Maybe I'm just trying to pretend that sarah's still gonna be showing me the trash she collected in her pocket when we're walking to phoenix grille next year & that rica's still gonna wave hello to me on ring road and say "yay!it's my hero" and that Erwin's still gonna be living at vdc & that i can call him to hang out at any time (because next year he's probably gonna have work) and that frances is still gonna be at interfaith lunch preparing a plate for me if i was coming from a class that ended at 12:20 and that melissa's still gonna be at the SSH booth doing her stats homework and letting me listen to music and that i'm still gonna run into clare & give her a hug on my way to class and that janice is still gonna laugh at me when i see her at interfaith (wait... there's a good chance that is still gonna happen)...

but then i take a second and realize that you're leaving. you're actually leaving. even if you're still gonna be within the area, you're not gonna be my peers anymore, you're not gonna be students anymore. i just wanted to say congratulations & i'm so incredibly proud of you all. you have touched my life more than you know & i would definitely not be where i am today if it weren't for you. i thank Him everyday for blessing me with friends like you. thank You for the breakfasts, the lunches, the dinners, the laughter, the hang outs, the smiles, the hugs, the genuine "how are you today?'s", the concern, the drives, the paperclips, the talks, the prayers, & most especially the Love You've shown me through the seniors this year. i'm so happy for you & i know you will go far... as Dr. Suess says "Kid, you'll move mountains" & i believe that. think of how many mountains you've already moved just by being you! A LOT. you're so strong. anyway i just wanted to say that i love you and thank you for the past two years. it's like God spoiled me and said... "okay anna you're not ready to take care of yourself quite yet so i'll let you meet this extraordinary group of people and put them in your life for at least these next two years." what a beautiful two years it has been. thank you for helping me grow. A LOT. i know that i've never had to walk alone because He's been by my side through you! I LOVE YOU. CONGRATS!!!! don't forget about us when you leave because i know i won't forget about you.

p.s. isn't it funny that i'm a third year & that's what you were when i met you. CRAZY.

anyway, that's all i got for you today. smile! it's friday! :) praying for you all.

p.p.s. i could never be disappointed in you. don't worry about it.

when lazy, vent. i'm at the library, there is a gross power outage at my apt and all the surrounding apts/areas/university center. booooo.

kayla hanada, thanks for the comment! milk and cookies day for sure next week! :) i'm free! i can't leave you comments on your blog for some reason so i've decided to blog just for you. it's funny, i had a similar entry to the one you just posted. i guess i'll expand on it later cause i should be studying for finals! haha but read it:

http://shesinbetweendreams.blogspot.com/2006/10/fourth-day.html

it's kind of scary how a part of us still manages to stay the same person that we were as seniors in high school. hey, i also want to be a woman of great heart & right conscious ;)

okay that is all. back to studying. i'm gonna be here for a while. ugh.

study day #2.

i haven't started studying yet. i'll start later. it's education & criminology day. yay.

i'm excited! lunch/cha run with avi, priyanka, & RA kenny before he leaves for NY. it's weird because it's the ending & beginning of so many things. i remember seeing kenny when i first moved into vista & thinking he was cute. i remember kathy's crush on him hahah. i remember him saying "knights of columbus!"and "vista poops your pants" and i remember our hall dinners. i was just a freshman last year and after tomorrow, i can say, "i was just a second year yesterday." gross. third year. gross.

lots to do before the year ends. lots of cleaning, lots of packing (just for the week since i'm going home home), lots of missed calls to return & old friends to hang out with (kim, gia, andrea, trina, gen), lots of organizing to be done, lots of walls to be graffiti'ed (on facebook that is) haha. overwhelmed much? but in a good way.

yay summer. i really don't care about my finals tomorrow... just kidding i do but i don't. all my roomies are going out of state this week. chua's going to the philippines, bernie's going to canada, christine's going to mexico and i'm just going home. i better do productive things while i'm there.

btw, my permit expires on the 23rd. i'm tempted to just let it expire... to have 3 more chances & a clean slate... but then i'd have to take the permit test again and that is NO fun. ugh. we'll see.

have a good wednesday my friends.

the longest week ever. what is it with me and finals week?

i just took my ling final. dude it was pretty hard but i'm over it...you know why? cause i'm tired and i just want to finish this week already. ugh.

i know exactly what i need & i know i can't find it here.

although i know that it's in You that i can find peace & rest, sometimes it's difficult to go to You. i pray that You will always be the first one i run to.

summer vacation come quicker.

i don't want to hear it.

honestly.

the heart of the matter.

dumb.

i don't know if i can do this anymore...

did you write "hello :)" on the floor of the langson library entrance? if you did, it made me smile.

i love sarah. she is the best. speical shoutout to her for making my day everyday.

random but... remember sami from days of our lives? i always preferred her good sister carrie over her. i used to hate her but lately i've been realizing that she's not an evil person. she just goes about getting what she wants in the wrong way. she's misunderstood. the whole community is against her but they fail to see the good things she does, her good intentions... she's a loving mother to will & a caring daughter. she's just human & i think that salem should forgive her once and for all. now stefano, HE was evil.

i'm supposed to be studying once again and yet i'm distracted once again. i also want to eat lunch before this final cause i cannot go in with an empty stomach. i get self-conscious.

anyway, to summarize this entire blog:
-linguistics sucked.
-i'm sleepy.
-i don't want to be here anymore.
-i love sarah & her paperclips.
-summer vacation is STILL too far away.
-sami brady is not evil.
-i should study.
-i should eat.

with that, have a good tuesday. praying for you all.

i have a final at 10:30am. i need to sleep soon but first... i'm feeling reminiscent. here's a blast from the past. summer '05 was THE best summer ever for me. i was looking at pictures and i came across these and i couldn't help but smile. they cheer me up in the midst of my final week blues. why am i currently blogging instead of studying? the world will never know.

finals tip #9: when stressed, do something that will make you happy i.e. look at old photos.

i <3 ihhs, ihm, debut "courtillion", backstreet, degrassi, trina & kayha.

p.s. kathy, some of these will kill you.

when you can't study anymore, SLEEP. sleep is the ultimate energy booster. that is why i slept in today.

i'm studying all day for my two finals tomorrow.

i'm kind of worried about linguistics now. at least soc is open note. NO MORE FACEBOOK. it distracts me. ugh.

welcome back alum!!!!!!!!! irvine missed you for the weekend. i think this past weekend provided me with some reassurance that even when the oldies are gone, i'll still be alright or we'll still be alright. it's like that first taste of independence you experience when your parents leave you at home alone for the first time. but i'm glad that they're back. yay!! too bad it's finals week. boo.

i can't think of what to type.

that is all. good bye! happy finals week! good luck to all those taking finals!

nothing like a little high school musical to motivate you.

in anticipation of finals week, i present to you a continuation of my finals tips series (if you remember, i left off with finals tip #6 from winter quarter).

finals tip #7:
when you can't concentrate, DON'T force yourself to study. take a breather & step away from the books. more than often, all you need to re-energize yourself is a little break from studying... and that is exactly what i'm doing right now. try it.

i don't know why but i'm soooo uninspired to study. maybe because it's spring quarter. who knows? all i know is that it was quite the unproductive week 10 and probably will be quite the unproductive weekend, academically... unless i change things. UGH. someone motivate me, thanks. by the looks of how things are going right now, i might as well have gone to vegas with the oldies, i probably would've gotten the same amount of work done.

sorry for the complaints.

i just really want to go home home now. this is getting ridiculous. 8:39pm and all i've been doing is transcribing notes... i guess you can consider that studying, somehow...

BUT really, open book test? linguistics?
"pshaw"... someone's playing really loud music right now. get me out of here. or not.
i should've taken a nap.

on a lighter note, i think i've found my passion... community service. it always makes my day better, regardless of what i'm doing. you know what's better than an A? a little boy named Angel. he definitely made today worth it. location makes no difference. homeless outreach today was a good experience, for lack of a better word. it replenished me.

Lord God, I ask You to help us continously find strength in You.

Good luck studying for finals!

we can't stay young forever.
adulthood calls.

I'm craving something sweet right now... or just something to eat. I'm hungry.

it's my "i'm in the library & i'm supposed to be doing homework/studying" post. i apologize in advance for my gloominess today. i'm not in the best of moods. thanks for going to starbucks with me & listening to me vent, mentor!

this is gonna be a long night. i need to start this essay now. ttyl.

i learned from YOU.

lessons learned tonight:
He's always with you.
Surrender all your fears & trust in Him... no matter how scared you may be, He'll never lead you astray.
Though you may not understand where the path's headed, enjoy the journey. It's just as rewarding as the destination, if not more.
Life's road can't be smooth all the time... there will always be bumps in the road, mountains to climb, unpaved & unmarked paths, walks in the dark, lines you can't cross, dead ends, obstacles you can't possibly foresee, dangerous mountain lions lurking around, & daunting distances to travel, but believe that He's got you every step of the way.
At the end, the water replenishes you & the view from the top is breathtakingly beautiful.
Note to self: remember that the next time you find yourself afraid of the unfamiliar.
The gift of service doesn't end once you get your diploma.
You guys are heroes who keep giving and giving and giving.

Thank you for tonight, for the company, the laughs, the food, the talks, & the view. I loved it all, from the spinning pope, to the religiously decorated room (by coincidence), to phase II, star gazing, mountain climbing, the asthma (hahah), the OCD stories, & everything in between. I truly see Him in you & although it'd be easy for me to be selfish & ask you to stay... I know that you need to let your light, His light, shine elsewhere. Sharing is caring.

Although I overslept this morning, I received some beautiful gifts today like a much needed nap, a 100 on my last ling homework, a visit / catch-up session with one of my best friends since kindergarten, & dinner/stargazing with some of the most loving people I know (007). I'm truly blessed & incredibly humbled.

Days like these make me realize, what's there to complain about when You have given me so much?

And then I think about school and click "publish post" so I can hit the books. Peace.

i haven't eaten since 12pm yesterday,
i slept TOO late last night,
i have a headache,
i still need to start on all the work i have to do,
welcome to college.

this is a blessing, You are a blessing.

thank you.

"you have so much in you, we all see it, the only person you need to convince is yourself."

last night was full of His love.

i'm really starting to suck at this blogging business.

Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad
Turuan Mo akong maglingkod sa Iyo
Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat
Na walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo

Nang makibakang di inaalintana
Mga hirap na dinaranas
Sa tuwina'y magsumikap na hindi humahanap
Ng kapalit na kaginhawaan
Na 'di naghihintay kundi ang aking mabatid
Na ang loob Mo'y siyang sinusundan

Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad
Turun Mo akong maglingkod sa Iyo
Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat
Na walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo

ready to be...

works itself out.

it took a lot to get to this point & i don't regret a single minute of it. regardless of all the struggles, challenges, & tears this past year, I know that I am finally where I'm supposed to be...i'm where He wants me to be.

i may not be the most captivating speaker, i may not have the most charismatic personality, i may find myself at a loss for words too often than not...i'm far from perfect but i'm ME. i won't let my insecurities get the best of me.

second year is not quite over yet but third year, i'm ready for you. let's do this. the one thing I need on this journey is You.

random0s1ty: anna! i just came from the immac baccalaureate
random0s1ty: and freakin
anna: lol
random0s1ty: the homily made me cry!
random0s1ty: ahha
anna: really?!?!?!
anna: what was it about
random0s1ty: and so did the prayer of thanksgiving
random0s1ty: duuude
random0s1ty: he was talking about how you can be greater than u are
anna: yeah
random0s1ty: and how all the people around us love us
anna: omgggg
random0s1ty: more than we can appreciate
random0s1ty: and i was like
random0s1ty: omg
random0s1ty: lol
anna: awww i wouldve so cried too!

Si Senor en tiempos malos, en tiempos buenos.

that is in my head.


...yo'okay.

thank you pelican bay for your hospitality as always and thanks for the yummy dumplings and ice cream and for the entertainment (i.e. last year's senior dance HAHAHA always funny to watch) :D

WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP, it's the 1st of the month.

i love how we run with our ideas.

why do these schemes always involve us making fools out of ourselves? i'm excited though. such good company. COMPLETELY worth it. it's been a year since "Yo Momma" & J-Unit. In honor of this anniversary...

but really, WHO WERE WE?!

here's to the future. it'll be quite the ride.

SPRING BANQUET TOMORROW! unbelievable. do you really have to leave?