i want to move mountains.
i WILL move mountains.

if you want something, get it! if i really want to go to Washington DC this summer, my future starts now. I'm gonna have to get started on a ton of things to prepare myself for what's to come and that includes... trying to secure a job for when i graduate by this winter (hello career center, career fairs, networking, info sessions & zotlink!), EARNING & SAVING UP a ton of money just to reach my $5000 goal by even POSSIBLY working over winter break :( (goodbye Christmas vacation & simbang gabi?) and selling loads and loads of see's candy! i feel like starting a fund. i'd call it the "anna's never been on a plane before" fund. it's true though, i've never really traveled before. there's a first for everything.

besides the money issue, i'm hesitant to go to DC this summer mostly because i am afraid. yes that's right. i'm scared. but then again, when am i not scared? i'm definitely not the type to step out of my comfort zone. i like being at home. i like the familiar. going to DC would mean being away from home, missing out on graduation parties & fun hangouts, losing quality time with the people i love, & it would mean being on my own... but then again, going to DC would mean exploring the east coast, meeting new people, gaining quality skills & experience in a career field in a completely different state, and just being independent. there are so many pro's and con's to this list that it just ends up balancing out in the end. we'll see where this takes me. Jesus, take the wheel. (seriously... i don't really even enjoy driving too much).

as for this past weekend, it was AMAZING. i could not have asked for a more eventful weekend. it was as though i took a step back in time... seeing LOG alum at the benefit concert, spending time with my older cousins & relatives whom i haven't seen in months, and being able to hang out with one of my oldest friends at a concert for a boyband that we've loved since we were 10. when it rains, it pours and i'm still speechless. i have no idea how to describe my weekend without smiling. lots of laughs, lots of fun, lots of Him. this weekend reminded me of how incredibly blessed i am. thank You.

CLASS TIME! i'll tell you the rest when i see you...

it's been such a hectic week already with my enrollment window opening (my last winter quarter ever!), PASS's CAPP Conference, and Benefit Concert tomorrow. i also got into UCDC.

what do i do now?





pray.

Here I am at CSL yet again... and I'm having the week of my life. My dreams have been so exhausting lately and I don't know what's in store for the rest of this week. On Monday night I dreamt about giving a 20-minute nerveracking presentation in front of a professor that didn't like me and I woke up feeling very anxious and exhausted/tired. Last night I dreamt that Kathee, Joe & Dean told me that they couldn't go to Benefit Concert because they were going to Vegas and I dropped to my knees and cried like a little girl and said, "you've already missed a benefit concert because of vegas!! i haven't even gone to vegas yet and I'm 21!!" and I woke up feeling upset. I don't know what my dreams are telling me but I definitely am not looking forward to being stressed in my dreams again. I've already got enough of that in real life.

Well, the time has come! It's heaven week. Benefit Concert is in 2 days and I'm feeling very EXCITED, very anxious, and just very tired. I'm sure many of you are feeling the same way. Despite the exhaustion, my fire is definitely being re-lit by the thoughts of seeing my alumni again AND by the new freshies! MY freshies. I have freshies? lawl. For you oldies, the freshmen are very much the opposite of us as freshmen in a lot of ways. First of all, we actually have quite a few boys now (even though there's still a lot more girls). They are an interesting bunch. They're an energetic bunch... and now I know what Angie means about freshmen bringing new life into the group because I can honestly say that these freshmen have brought new life and then some. You should see how excited they are to do action songs... and how willing they are to be ridiculous and silly and make a fool out of themselves for God. It's INSPIRING. There were around 10-12 or maybe even more 1st years who led action songs last night and it made me happy. I worry about a lot of things and sometimes become obsessed about having everything be perfect but they've already taught me that sometimes you have to let loose to be able to let go. In the midst of all this grown up stuff & all the things I worry about, sometimes I've forgotten how to be childlike. I know right? It's funny because as a first & second year, that's all I knew how to be.


i'm a fourth year and still learning.

in spite of all that's going on... THIS is what i look forward to...

"after our final benefit concert practice with such a high turn out of people, new people, new members of our LOG family. while singing the "Our Father" I looked around at every face in the circle and realized, THIS is what i've inherited, what we've inherited... this FAMILY. this is what makes the entire journey worth it, no matter how tired we are, no matter how many times we fall short & no matter how many times we feel like giving up, no matter how hard it is for us to believe in ourselves and our abilities... none of this matters because He is the glue that keeps us together. He's our Provider and as long as we hold out our arms, He's there to embrace us and accept us... He welcomes us into this family"



Thank You for these reminders.

Alright, well I better start being productive and do homework or something before class. I have class till 5, pass's CAPP conference from 5-?? and then Benefit Concert at 7. It's gonna be a long night... it's already been a long week but I'm offering it up to You. Be Our Strength.

Labels: benefit concert, dean, dreams, joe, kathee

COME :)

they STILL have a piece of my heart... 10 years later hahah.
sorry brenton <3 i love you too! but i don't think i'll ever get over them lol.


YAY THIS WEEKEND!


sorry all my posts have been about the backstreet boys lol.

Labels: backstreet boys

love is what the trouble is.

KTBSPA!

i've been on backstreetboys.com the past hour watching videos and it's getting me soooooo excited for my 3rd ever backstreet boys concert (i went to the millenium & the never gone tours). i can't believe that i'm 21 and i get to watch the backstreet boys in concert againnnnnnnn!!!! dhklasjfhdsakl I'M REALLY EXCITEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!! like incredibly excited & i feel like i'm 12 years old again! LOL. if only life were as simple now as it was for me back then.

my first backstreet boys concert was in vegas on october 16, 1999 (yeah i remember the exact date lol) when i was 12 with 6 of my friends (yes our parents drove us all the way to vegas to see the backstreet boys) & we waited at the lobbies at MGM grand and ran into brian littrell's wife (then-girlfriend) leighanne wallace & took pictures of her and freaked out. we also met the unpopular boyband EYC. i can't even remember one of their songs. that was probably one of the happiest nights of my life lol. i felt the highest of highs and lowest of lows that night because i got to see the backstreet boys and we were in the 4th ROW!!!! but me & gia didn't sneak in our cameras and had no photos of the concert to remember it by. we cried sooo much right before the concert LOL... and right after the concert, i was at an all time high. i remember looking behind me as we walked further away from the arena, wishing i could catch a glimpse of them.

i'd give anything to meet the bsb. seriously. ahhhhhhh this weekend is gonna be such an awesome weekend BECAUSE:
Friday = Benefit Concert
Saturday = Kuya Dan & Helen's wedding
Sunday = Backstreet Boys concert

YAY. sorry for such a lame post but i needed to share lol.

P.S. is anyone as sad as i am that TRL is ending? :( goodbye to a major part of my childhood.

Labels: backstreet boys, TRL

lately, i have been failing in many ways... i can't even count them.

I AM SORRY. i feel like i've disappointed a lot of people, including myself.

i just want to catch up but it feels too late sometimes.

i want to make things right, and again, it's probably too late.

too late, never enough time, etc etc etc.


tbc...

yeah, i procrasinated...again.

i wanna be done already. i know i'm gonna regret that but i'm seriously tired of school right now.

but i have to keep pushingggg. so i will.

i'm gonna be up tonight. yay.

so i'm at CSL trying to work on my paper but i can't seem to focus because my mind is filled with other things. if i had to write out my to-do list and my weekly schedule, here is how this week's would look like:

monday: career center 10-12, work from 1-5, work on my paper somehow, check my enrollment window, maybe hopefully go to that la thing
tuesday: WORK ON MY PAPER the entire day until the liwanag meeting and i wanna go to disneyland too but i don't know if i should unless i miraculously finished my paper by then. liwanag meeting
wednesday: career center 10-11, work on my paper & work on my presentation, grab a late lunch with ace, career center class 3-5pm, steelhead brewery with the career center after, PASS meeting at 6, CFC-Y meeting at 7, hopefully last minute editing on my paper
thursday: sports psych from 11-12:20, career center workshop on interviews from 12:30 -1:30pm, social rel & turn in my paper at 2:00-3:20pm, work on finding and summarizing 20 public service announcements for research, try to catch up on reading & doing a stats exercise for sports psych
friday: meet with my research professor at 10, go to the UCDC interview at 11, then work from 1-5pm

AND THEN ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, there's
CORE meetings
benefit concert practices & planning and marketing
homeless outreach planning
career center projects and marketing
PASS counselee phone calls
Family Leader stuff
research projects
lots and lots of emailing
reserving rooms for bc
and keeping up with LIFE i.e. planning my future (informational interviews, looking for jobs, researching stuff on occupations and looking into grad school).


wowowowowowowowowowow. akjdhkafsjhgskdjghsdkgaksd.

i'm getting stressed just thinking about this stuff.

i know that lots of other people have ten time more things to do and i know that i asked for all of this... so i know that i can handle it but it's always the anticipation that gets to me.

JUST DO IT.

hello week 7?!?!?!?!?!

i haven't said this in a while but...
i seriously miss immac.
i miss the classes, i miss the teachers, i miss the planner, i miss the atmosphere, i miss how we didn't have to worry about the real world.

i also miss my home friends.
i miss kim, kristina, gen, rachelle, gia, darlene, trina, kayla, caitlin, bernice & so many other people.
i miss vista... i miss avi, jen, sabrina, flo & bri.
i miss home.
i miss my family.
i miss L.A.
i miss my childhood.
i miss how things used to be.


i really do miss immac.

woman of great heart & right conscience... that's the kind of person i strive to be.

but all this means i can look forward to hanging out with my home friends next weekend (hopefully) and i can look forward to going to the bsb concert with gen & rach.

can't waittttttt.
sometimes irvine gets to be too much of a bubble.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
- Mother Teresa

who am i to judge my neighbor for what they do & for how they choose to live their lives?

in an ideal world, we would all be united in L O V E.


don't be afraid to speak your mind...
yet at the same time, be courageous & humble enough to LISTEN.
that's all anyone can ask for.


prayers.

thank You for tonight. i needed that.


i want to sleep now but back to the powerpoint.

this might be a little late but...




although i did get to vote in the primary election earlier this year and the non-presidential election last year, this year's election has been more meaningful to me just because of the amount of things that are at stake. as cheesy and cliche as this sounds, i voted because i DO have a voice. i voted because my opinion matters just as much as the next person's the way that your opinion matters just as much as mine. i voted because growing up, i KNEW what it was like to have a nearly empty refrigerator and have literally nothing to eat for lunch and dinner because my parents spent the little money that they had to send me and my brother to a private school because the public schools around us couldn't provide us with the quality of education that we would've received if we had lived in a wealthier, more affluent neighborhood. i voted because i've seen my mom cry, apologizing for not being able to give us things that other people would've considered basic necessities. i voted because i know first hand what it's like to struggle... what it's like to work even harder than others for what you want in life because you're Filipino, because you're part of the working class, because you're a female, because you're a minority. i voted because of my parents' sacrifices and for the good of my own future. i voted because i witness the fruits of my parents' labor every day...i voted because i AM the fruits of their labor. i voted because my parents instilled in me the belief that if you want something enough & if you work hard enough for it, you can achieve it; you can BE the change in spite of who you are.

regardless of what your political party may be and regardless of whom you vote for, you have to admit that this world is in desperate need of that change & we as a generation, both figuratively & literally can't AFFORD to be indifferent to all the issues that are in front of us.

more importantly,
i voted because justin timberlake told me to vote... just kidding.

happy election day.

i dreamt about a bicycle. i was with 2 other girls and they rode their bikes with ease but i was really tired and just walked alongside my bicycle while carrying a million other things. now i could easily dismiss the symbolism and say my dream just pointed out the obvious: i don't know how to ride a bike & i always carry unnecessary things. but i also consulted the not-always trusty dream dictionary for its answer & found that it made a lot of sense in regards to the way i'm living my life right now...it's a balancing act that i have yet to master.

Bicycle

To dream that you are riding a bicycle, signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties about making it on your own.

To see a bicycle in your dream, indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation.

"don't have your halo on too tight."- a wise priest

btw, i only need four classes left to graduate.

graduate early or not? time to weigh out the options.





i'm coming back to the HEART of WORSHIP
and it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus
i'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it,
when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus.

so, i got 12 hours of sleep last night! it was amazing. i can only sleep for that long when i'm home. then i woke up to a home cooked lunch and we went to get my eyebrows done haha & we went to sephora & i got THIS:
it's one of gwen stefani's harajuku lovers fragrances! i LOVE it because it smells good! and it's subtle. i don't like fruity fragrances so it's perfect. i mainly use the hilary duff "with love" and the japanese cherry blossom spray that kim uses too haha but i think i'm gonna collect the other fragrances. i want the "angel" and "love" ones but "baby" is enough for now. it made me happy because i've been wanting it for a while AND not to mention, the packaging is soooo cute!

then my brother got john legend's new album,"evolver" and that made me happy too. YAY.

i have to do work soon though. boooo.

dinner calls so i'll be back later.

love, anna

p.s. reading about nez's cousin's love story was cute! it reminded me about my kuya dan who's getting married on nov. 22 to an AMAZING, beautiful engineer, my soon to be cousin-in-law helen. they are the most down to earth, silliest, funnest, (if that could be a word) people to be around... and these pictures prove it :) they really do deserve each other :D it's like wedding season or something cause abby & dean's cousins are getting married too not to each other but still haha.

Labels: evolver, harajuku lovers, john legend, perfume, weddings.