social science computer lab. i only found out about this lab like two weeks ago. i guess we learn something new everyday.

don't you hate it when you cross something off of your list, only to realize that the remainder of that list still has to be done?

like right now, i finished my educ pres and turned in my homework for ling but i should be reading/taking my crim quiz. it never ends.

growing up, seriously.

thank you for listening to me vent last night. like christina aguilera says, i turn to you :)

the person next to me was looking at me weird for blogging. whatever. he's a hater haha.

praying for you always.

seems like everything lately is "to be continued..."

how's that for a cliff hanger?

have a good thursday!

thank You for the gift of time.

i love my mom.

i hate group presentations.

my summer will consist of school & work. two classes for summer session I & one class for summer session II! fun fun fun! i hope people visit me in irvine. i have a feeling i'm gonna go home every weekend. and i get to kick off my summer with JURY DUTY! hoorayyyy.

i need it & that's become an understatement.

hope... it fits.

two more years, let's do this.

WHAT A YEAR!

sorry but i had to...
my facebook horoscope today said:

Pisces: Don't agree to anything you're not sure about. If you have doubts, don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision. You know what's best for you.

i agree with abby. i have lots of catching up to do. 2 more weeks of my second year. where did the time go???

i wish i didn't have to think about school while being at home but in the words of kurtis blow, who wants you to know... "these are the breaks."

and he's not talking about vacation breaks.

to do list for the remainder of my weekend:
- start researching and planning out my education presentation.
- contact the other members of the group & meet up with them?
- sign up for my last summer school class.
- read for criminology
- plan out my fall quarter 07 schedule... hello third year! :P

unbelievable.

food for thought: even though i'm not athletic at all, i've learned that eventually in life, you get to the point where you have to stop passing the ball around & start playing. if they didn't think you could do it, why did they pass it to you in the first place?

thank you jean and/or doe for a fun day.

hi anna! this is dean. i like your glasses.

So I was walking along Campus... the street that I take to get to school everyday. It was raining. I was walking towards the Albertson's area wearing my new vans sneakers but this time they were white. I was carrying a huge load of clothes in a laundry bag. I was walking and I wanted to take the shortcut to get to my destination but as soon as I stepped foot on the path of the shortcut, I realized that I had stepped on a puddle and my new shoes were kind of wet and I didn't want them to get soaked so I veered off of the shortcut and decided to take the long way, even though I had been hesitant to at first. The long way led me to this store near Albertson's that doesn't really exist in real life. It ended up being a tiny room/lobby where an older man and woman were waiting. I was supposed to give my bag of clothes directly to my Auntie Didi but they told me I couldn't because she was sleeping already and her door was closed. They told me to give it to them but I didn't want to. I didn't trust them with it and wanted to give it directly to my Auntie because it was a bag of MY clothes and the dream ended with me holding onto the bag of clothes, staring intently at the man who wanted to give them to my aunt for me.

That's all. Back to homework.

and you've considered me a friend
capture my heart again

love&sacrifice.

it's amazing... the subtle ways He speaks to you.

i'll never understand but with You by my side, i know i'll never have to.

thank you, thank you, thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

i love You.

a little time away, i heard her say, from each other.


as i sit here, surrounded by no one really, i feel at peace. it's some time to myself, to think, breathe, & just be. but all this alone time brings a little too much time for questioning.

i know i should be preparing/starting my education curriculum lesson presentation for tomorrow or contacting the other members of my group...or researching for my end of the qtr group presentation so that i have something to contribute tomorrow...or i should be reading for criminology, or do anything besides blogging but i can't help it.

i've been avoiding a lot of things lately and have neglected people in the process. i'm sorry. i used to be a better friend. this quarter...

i honestly just want to sleep. sleep's become my best friend.

today was my last day tutoring at the library. it was sad. one of the girls i tutored named karen was on the verge of tears :( i'll miss her.

the most heartbreaking thing happened today. i was tutoring this new first grade girl named leslie. she was from a private catholic school. she is incredibly smart and her reading skills are so above and beyond the reading skills of the other public school kids that we tutor at the library. she had trouble doing homework, not because she COULDN'T do it but because she didn't WANT to do it. she was getting lazy & restless. by the end of the day she made amazing progress and i actually got her to finish all her homework. she's one of the reasons i wish it didn't end. she said the most disturbing (anti-immac) thing ever...we were doing sentences and she messed up while spelling one of the words and said... and i quote,

"UGH! This is why I hate being a girl."


it was the most upsetting sentence i've ever heard. i asked her "how can you say something like that? girls can do anything!" and the fact that all the tutors at PASS today were girls is living proof of that. she then proceeded to say that she was going to end up being a "house cleaner" like her mom! for a first grader to lose her hopes like that... it's not right at all. i asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she hesitated for a while because she didn't think she could be anything... she said she was "nothing"... after a few minutes she told me she wanted to be a dentist and i told her that nothing was stopping her from becoming one because she's a smart girl. luckily, i coaxed her into finishing her homework and at the end of the day, when i said bye to her i asked her what she wanted to be again and this time she said "A DENTIST!" excitedly, without hesitation and it made me smile. experiences like these make everything worth it. it's more rewarding than getting a 10 out of 10 on my soc paper!!! even though that's pretty rewarding in itself.

anyway, that was my story for the day. i'm full after frozen yogurt from piccomolo and nuggets and waffle fries from chick-fil-a... which jamie called "chick-a-flick" hahaha. good times.

i better get started on my homework... everything's easier said than done. i can do anything, right?

i need to motivate myself.

"Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy/girl who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most u s e l e s s place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy/girl!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way! "

...when will i get out of the waiting place?

i have 2 or 3 pimples on my face and i never get pimples.

that means i'm stressed.

prayers please. lots of them.

i want to fast forward to summer vacation because i am not in the mood for any of this stuff.


i also need to stop being dumb.

the end.

how can i ever do anything if i'm always too afraid to try?

i'm PCN'ed out.

i'm SOOOOOOO proud of my brother. yay!!! ahhhhh!! he did so well today! i'm so proud of him.

i'm also happy i got to see gen & gia peform! they're so graceful haha.

i'm ALSO happy i got to see kai, steven, darlene, rj, mike, & paul. yay! i'm sleepy.

okay roomie talk! good night!

i wish life was carefree, but hey i'll take what i can get. it's days & nights like these that remind me that life's not supposed to be all about work work work.

i suppose.

thanks erwin for dinner! thanks elinor, khrystyn & jamie for my second dinner, thanks dean of the gregorio palace for extending such a warm invite. thanks thanks thanks.

TODAY will be FUN! fun fun fun! in the sun! UCLA's and Cal Poly Pomona's PCN. be there or be square. good night! peace!

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down...

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)


life, let me breathe please.

Just when I think I know it all, I don't.
I've got a lot to learn.

I want to take another nap. hahah. naps are the ultimate escape and just sleep in general.

so, i've got bigger fish to fry.

here goes nothing.

:(

i have so much work to do...

and if i want to go to chuck e. cheese, i have to do it.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i'm gonna go into seclusion now.

as a result, i can' t watch kathy & dean perform today. this sucks.

quick bullet points before i study:
* our pastor Fr. Rodell composed and sang a song for mothers at mass today... "my heart, my heart belongs to you..." haha.
* i'm strangely getting along with you & i'm assuming that's a part of growing up.
* i love my dad even when he's annoying.
* l love my mom even when she worries excessively
* chicken madeira from the cheesecake factory never gets old
* i'm glad i can finally give back
* got my vans on but they look like sneakers! :)
* my brother has a cool mentor...she's pretty much an older, girl version of him.
* i love my brother and i'm excited to see him perform for pcn next saturday.
* i'm in too many facebook groups.
* i need to study for real.
* i got my hair cut and i like it but it makes me look younger than i already am... i can so pass for 16.
* jollibeemo! jollibee is a perv who hit on me and my cousin frances haha.
* i relived my childhood this weekend.
* i love my cousins.

that is all. see you later.

Lord God, I ask you to help me...
get over this,
get past this,
get through this.
Amen.

over insecurities, doubts, & inhibitions,
past my fears & flaws
through my struggles, obstacles, & challenges.

over, past, through, OPT, down with OPT? yeah, you know me.
opt to get opt. that's a good one! HAHA. i'm proud of myself for that one. anyway...

who knew home could actually be the sweet escape?

time away = time to think. cue the contemplation.

i watched Finding Forrester for my education class. i liked it.

"Why does everything have to be so black and white with you?"


the pen. it's quite an intimidating instrument. it has the potential to be powerful but it is the owner of that pen that makes it so. it lies in his/her hands. getting the ink on the paper is the most difficult yet most rewarding part of the process. you shouldn't let the fear of making mistakes prevent you from writing your story... it could be the next great American novel...

it WILL be if you try.

TRYING. if at first you don't succeed, try, try, again.

you know what's scary? walking alone through a dark forest with no one to follow. you know what's comforting? realizing that you're not. by dwelling on the darkness and the unfamiliarity of your surroundings and by focusing on what's to come, you tend to forget what's there... your shadow that's trailing behind you and the footsteps of people who've walked that same exact dirt path before you & the presence of a good Friend beside you. it's okay not to know where you're going as long as you know that you're not alone. you're never alone when He's by your side.

anna liza, you've still got a long way to go. be a trooper.

hope everyone else is enjoying their weekend!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOMMIES OUT THERE! :)
yay mommy! :)

sometimes we need reminders...that we are loved, that we make a difference, that we are wanted. if i could, i'd leave everyone i love a little post-it note telling them how much they mean to me and how much i love them. i need to get better at this keeping in touch business. it's tough but definitely something worth trying. i promise i will catch up with YOU soon. it's only a matter of time.

maybe time and life are enemies.

or maybe not.

I LOVE THE FEELING OF HOME! my bed's made, i just took a nice long shower and watched the disney channel and talked with my parents for a while. you really don't know what you've got till it's gone. i can't wait to sleep, which i will do right after this blog entry. i'm excited.

dear kirsdean, i hope your gig went well! this was the first time i missed it. i'm really sad about it. i'm really proud of you bothhhhh. can i have your autographs please? can i be your groupie? hahah jk but not really.

tomorrow: haircut?, rent movies from blockbuster (hotel rwanda and some other movie for education and watch them), pick alex up from ucla, go to jolibee for jiles' 8th and aj's 16th birthday, come home and do homework, sleep. sunday: go to mass, start essay, do homework, mother's day lunch at cpk? (cause my mom loves it there), pack up, go back to irvine...

oh yeah i gave my mom her sewing machine! she opened it already. she LOVES it and i'm happy that she does because i love my mommy. that's all. good night world. this is the earliest i've slept in yeaaaaars or more like weeks. peace out. have a beautiful weekend :)

i overslept!

AHHHHHHHHH this hasn't happened in a while... well the kind of oversleeping that causes you to miss a class. luckily i only had one class today and it was a lecture and we were just watching a movie. now i have to watch it on my own. well at least just 50 min of it. hotel rwanda! i woke up at 10 for sure cause i heard my alarm and thought i hit the snooze button when i probably hit the turn off button. lame. cause the next time i woke up it was 11:08.

but i had a good dream though. i can't remember the specifics but it involved me asking angie about what her passion was. i don't remember her answer.

GP i really believed your blog about usher being gay and you being deployed and if you are lying about lying, then i'm really gullible.

i have allergies and i just want to go home.

but it's time to take a quiz and go to work, at least around 1.

this week has been pretty fun, except for the school part...maki maki with pass & cha for tea with my monday dinner buddies + will on monday, souplantation with my 301 vistans & LOG meeting on tuesday, lani grill with a few of the coolest people and studying with emokpet without the p on wednesday, then talking with ghostface sarah yesterday afternoon & pinkberry, getting lost in LBC, and pho with the ja(i)m(i)e's and family meeting at dumo's last night! last week was coool too... heart2heart convos & "studying" with bmay & abby on sunday, pcn & tgiFriday's on saturday, surprising bellamay on her bday! and spending most of my day with erweirdoooo & fqa (driving, at target, el pollo loco, my apt, and shawshank and pbay) & blessed sacrament on friday!, shopping at buffalo exchange & urban with erwin, kirs the cool girl! & brenton on thursday, and i don't remember what i did the rest of that week but it was coool. that makes going home today even more exciting.

i realized i hardly ever blog about my days anymore so i decided to throw that in.

i gotta get to reading now before work and stuff so i'll talk to you later. have a beautiful day.

am i really????


WOW how do i manage to confuse myself this much.

i'm talking to myself on my own blog.

oh well.

prayers please!

so many opportunities!

i'm ready but a bit hesitant to jump in.

thank goodness for errors!

i love library time with my twin @ heart.

i'm excited for life too.

...and now i'm ready to be extraordinary.

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

despite the busy-ness of it all.

this is an on-going struggle.
making progress? am i?

can You...
teach me how to accept my gifts?
teach me how to believe in myself?
teach me how to love the way that You do?
teach me how to let the Sonshine in?
please?

or
better yet, help me to just let go and let You...
work through me, shine through me, show me Your will.

There is none like you / No one else can touch / My heart like you do /
I could search / For all eternity long and find / There is n o n e like You

Like a Rose trampled on the ground / You took the fall and thought of me /Above all...thinking of that makes me cry.

i'm sorry.

i want to stop worrying so much.

i want to make you proud.

these next few weeks will be tough.
Surrender & Trust?

back to business.
yes, no, maybe so.

prayers.

dear life,
sometimes you overwhelm me. other times you stress me out. a majority of the time, you make me smile and then there are those occasional days that you make me cry. once in a while you make me mad. then you pull a fast one on me and make me laugh. sometimes you're my friend while other times you leave me hanging (that's when i get bored). then you surprise me by throwing me an obstacle or two. often times, i'm unsure of my ability to handle the obstacles that you place before me but 99.999% of the time i pull through because you give me a reason to. life, i just want you to know that you're also quite scary. sometimes i want to avoid you because YOU frighten me. yes, you! it's because you're too unpredictable for my liking. but you know what? you're worth it. every day i get to know you more and every day i learn something new about you. it's rewarding. in fact this friendship is rewarding. i value you. you mean a lot to me, even when you break my heart because you always manage to put it back together again. oh life, i'm glad that you exist because i exist through you. although i know you won't be there for me forever, the time that you've been there and will be there is AWEsome. thank you and i'll try not to complain about you too much. after all, you're a gift from Him.

sincerely,
the most indecisive and fickle minded decision maker ever


this is such a random blog entry but i figured, i might as well do something creative.

what happened to the anna who would blog all the time because she had nothing better to do?

boooo to you!

i miss you! i miss way back when.

i've come to the conclusion that i'm incredibly horrible at making decisions. some adult i'm gonna be...or am.

you tell me i'm grown up or i've grown and some days i have my doubts... maybe i just have trouble believing it.

the end. happy tuesday!

"just say you're racist"-abby

hi i'm at the library and i have 1-2 more hours to study, more or less but i'm getting restless and becoming indifferent.

i went to every lecture (even though i dozed off a few times), i went to all the discussions except for the first one (cause i thought i was gonna drop the class), i've averaged about a 70 i guess on all my quizzes (bad! i know! but what can i do?), i read every reading except for one chapter of currie which she goes over in one of the lectures anyway, i studied and read the readings i didn't read yesterday at the library... lastly, it is multiple choice! which means i don't have to do free response, which means educated guesses! i'm tired. i just want the busyness of the day to be done with.

i turned in my ling midterm to the prof's office... i walked 5 flights up the stairs of SSPB because the elevator was so slow!

enough with the complaints, today will be a good day today will be a good day today will be a good day!!!!!!!

hm ok i should go back to studying...


Life To-Do List:
1. start practicing again so i can get my licenseeeeeeeeeeee! AHHHHHH (is it ever gonna happen?!?!?!?!?!)
2. keep my head in the school game & study ahead of time
3. RELAX.
4. PRIORITIZE my life.
5. pray ...and we pray and we pray and we pray every day every day every day

and i'm stuck...

studying.

but you know what? it's okay because after today is tomorrow and tomorrow i'll be free...at least until the next test or paper comes along.

study break?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY rica, my hero! did you ever know that you're my hero? you're everything i wish i could be and i could fly higher than an eagle, you are the wind beneath my wings. you're a winner! we're on the winning team! i love you. have a beautiful day pretty lady!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUA! theresa chuaaaaa! roomie! you are super rad haha. i love our talks and i love you! yay you're 19...now you're only ONE year younger than me. anyway have an awesome day! you deserve it you nerdy genius.

theeeeeee endddddddddddddddddddddd.

i have yet to complete my crim study guide.
i also have yet to finish my take home midterm.
i'm procrastinating as we speak... or as i type.

funny story to hold you over till i blog again. so my mom finally learned how to text (about time right?) anyway so i got this text from her today:

"i knw how .2 txt now mom Pick me up"

i think she thinks that it's like an email...why else did she put "mom" in it. hahah and i dont know if she meant pick up the phone? or what? man good times. anyway i better get back to... or start studying. peace. good luck this week.

prayers please.

i think i fall into the habit of constant comparison.
it's dangerous thinking that you have "big shoes to fill."

but why fill another person's shoes when He's given you your own?

sometimes.

i had a weird dream last night. i can't remember a lot of the specifics. i was at the mall and people were helping me find a new blouse that i could wear to go clubbing (yeah i know right?!) and i kept saying no to each shirt that people suggested... cause the shirts were either too sparkly, too short (like showing your stomach short!) or too tight so i just kept looking through the racks. i don't know if i found one or not. WEIRD.

anyway, greetings from langson, my home away from home. why am i taking so many units again?

i needed to write out my study schedule for the next two days and because i don't have my grown up planner yet, i had to pull out my IH planner. i skimmed through the pages and finally got to the week of april 29th-may 5th and each week has a "quote" or tip.

this week's advice: "Life and learning: There are no easy A's--they come with hard work."

so true.

hey, You really are looking out for me. i got so stressed this morning when i found out that not only do i have my linguistics and criminology midterms on Thursday but also a presentation for education! you can imagine my excitement. anyway, when i got to my linguistics lecture today, my professor told us to tell her when it turned 12 o' clock cause she had something to tell us. i hoped she was going to say that our midterm was cancelled or postponed but i knew that was an unreasonable train of thought so instead i convinced myself that she was just going to let us out early.... and she DID! BUT she also told us our midterm was a take-home test! hoooray! that's practically like homework. let's just hope i know how to do these problems. it sucks having no friends in a class.

well i better get to researching for my presentation on closing ethnic achievement gaps. it's quite peaceful in here. i love it.

happy week 5! hope you're all staying alive! :D hahah. lame.

wake up wake up wake up... NAME THAT TUNE.

praying for you all.

changes.