i'm a few hours away from meeting the man of my dreams...
JUSTIN RANDALL TIMBERLAKE.

hahahah :D

i'm exciteddddd. i'm currently waiting for genevi & geraldine to come so that we can head over to ucla & partake in the kids choice madness. i hope it's not too crazy. i hope that we're not the oldest there. i hope that the celebrities are nice. i hope we get to sit next to a lot of them. i hope i don't hyperventilate. i hope we're on tv. i hope that we have fun. man i'm hungry. they're not gonna feed us. nor are they gonna let us take pictures or use our phones. how lame is that. oh well.

thanks for yesterday! good company, good surprises, good food. i love you guys!

praying for you.
have a wonderful saturday before the sunday that we have to go back to irvine, for those of us who are at home.

hold on to a beautiful day / it will lift you up / take you to the top / hold on cause it's here to stay / to help you get through the day everyday

He definitely answers your prayers. Believe.

I'm tired. I don't think spring break is supposed to make me tired.

Last night was cool. I was able to talk to my old h.s. friend Kim on the phone. She called me and we caught up. I love her. So we were talking and she told me that she was in class the other day, some life skills class and they were learning about two types of women and the lecture reminded her of me.

"There are two types of women, the pleasing woman and the together woman. The pleasing woman depends on other people and her happiness is based on making other people happy. The together woman has control of her life and her happiness is based on making herself happy. Anna you're like the pleasing woman. You want to make everyone around you happy and you put their happiness before your own. Sometimes you have to forget about other people and think about yourself, what you need and what you want."



Oh Kim she's so wise. Thanks to all my high school friends who've made my spring break better just by being there, even if it's not physically being there but just being there to talk and catch up. It's been fun. Tomorrow will be fun. Kids choice awards with Alex, Gia, & Gen...and then possibly dinner/hang out with Kim & Trina. This kind of a weekend makes me not want to go back.

Anyway, I'm gonna go eat with my relatives now. YAY! Bye have a beautiful friday.

only He knows how to fill your emptiness.
teach me how to love, show me the way to surrender my heart.
Amen.


it's been a very immac-y past two days. music&lyrics, elephant bar dinner, coldstone with jamie, krystle, & adrian on wednesday. thai bbq, eagle rock plaza, best buy, and ucla with tita ayet & tito tony on thursday, koreatown adventure, pho 4000, ting ting karaoke room, & pinkberry on larchmont with trina, mimi, paul & his friends on thursday night. i can't complain.

i think my aunt and uncle want to see my apt today and my mom wants me to take care of my rent. ugh. anyway i guess a quick drive to irvine and back. funnnnn. maybe. peace out.

p.s.
Meechy's right... i meant WEDNESDAY not thursday. oh man. ugh.

you know what?
i want to go back to this...

and i don't care if you call me emo, immature, naive,
stuck in the past, or a baby to want this again.

i miss it &
i miss you.
and that's the truth.

spencerchild6 (2:50:43 AM): I think I just recycle complaints

i think the way to get comments is to be vague hahah.

i'm going out with friends for the FIRST time this entire spring break. lol. why am i so lazy? music&lyrics with the LA'ers. yay. i heard the movie is corny. yuck. but it should be fun.

we have guests tomorrow. my aunt and uncle are staying at our house from wed - fri. i wonder what we're gonna do. but then i think i'm also hanging out with trina tomorrow. soooo we shall see. gia, get better soon. pinkberry with our names on it! literally.

this has been the most uneventful spring break i've had so far. not that it's a bad thing.

ugh i don't like home sometimes... parents aren't always fun.

my hair is really long. really longgg. i should cut it soon.

i miss immac.

none of this is vague.

why do you all have to be broncos?

sdjghaksdjghksdjg.

have a good tuesday.

i'm gonna try to be vague like gp kirs and meechy.

Your will, not mine.

no one's gonna die if this doesn't pan out. hahaha thanks gp.

third time's the charm, i GUESS.

i'm glad that this isn't bothering me a lot. just kidding. it is.

ran into bad luck & a "b-word". hahahahah adlsdjklghkldgjsdhg

this sucks

passenger seat for life?

oh wait, all my vagueness is about the same thing. HAHAHAH. sorry guys.

rainy days and mondays always get me down.

conspiracy theory!

the world's against me.

i'm so OA.

thanks for trying to make me calm down mister. you didn't even know who i was but thanks.

prayers please.
thanks.

have a good week.

except not really. but i admit, i like the song.

yummm. i'm eating banana chips right now. my aunt from the philippines gave us some. so good.

i also just woke up from a lovely nap.

this morning i went to church with my family and then we ate breakfast (cornsilog aka corned beef, eggs and rice) at Manila Good-Ha. Then I drove to, from, and around the area where I'm taking my test.

i've been driving a lot lately. that's a hint. only one person knows when it's happening lol but that's because he had a lucky guess. thanks for helping me drive yoooo. you're thebestinstructor&drybearever. i'm taking my test REALLY soon. like REALLY. prayers please.

the cool thing is, that i think i'm more comfortable with or confident in my driving. i'm at the point where i believe that i don't suck at it. all i need is practice and with that comes experience. i can't wait until i can drive myself places, then i will be a total grown-up...i should've gotten this when i was 16 hahaha. why am i so lazy?!

katrina pingol, if you're reading this & if you're home, call me pleeeeeeeease. thanks.

i really want a new phone but i want to keep my number and i don't really want to switch out of cingular. even though t-mobile has cooler looking phones and SIDEKICKS! my dream! ugh.
this phone on the bottom is my second dream! isn't it pretty? AND it's purple. if only... well it can happen. i just have to be willing to switch and stuff. i want to keep my number though. we'll see i guess.


so break, it's not that poppin' besides sleep and food. it'll get better though. i'm sure!!!

i've lost the will to shop. it's sad but not really.

ugh i don't wanna go back to school.

ok that is all. i'm gonna drive again. peaaace. have a good day & week!!! praying for you!

so if i fail this next time,
then there's always one more chance.

i should be more worried if i fail my third time.
HELLO PERMIT TEST! we shall meet again =P

i really want my license. sigh.

on the plus side, i got 12 hours of sleep last night. who knew how wonderful it would be to fall asleep at 10:55pm and wake up at 11:00am.

home.

*seeing alex playing the wii*
me: whose mii are you making?
alex: dwight
me: from the office?
alex: yeah

hahah. gotta love it.

oh why oh why would i wanna be anywhere else?

i've been on spring break since tuesday and it still feels like i'm not on break...probably because i'm still here. a part of me doesn't want to go home because i'm gonna be bored since my parents work all day, alex probably has plans with friends, a lot of my friends are no longer gonna be on spring break, AND to top it off, my parents sleep extra early... like 10pm early. so im usually on the computer at night and then my mom comes in around 1 or 2am and sees that im still awake and lectures me about how bad my sleeping habits are and how i should just go to bed and i say "yes mom" and then i continue to stay on the computer for another hour or two except i close my door shut. the next morning she asks me "what time did you sleep last night" and i say, "oh around the time you told me to." THAT is what i predict my spring break to be like... EXCEPT add some tv in there. yay disney channel & noggin, you will once again become my best friends now that school isn't in the picture. i want to stay in irvine sometimes because of the apartment lol. that's a weird reason but it's true. i like the independence. my supervisor asked me if i was working during spring break and i said no. sometimes i think maybe i should've said yes because at least i'd be earning money instead of doing nothing. but oh well. i doubt my dad would've gone for that idea. he wants us home, even though when we are at home, we don't do anything.

then there's that part of me that wants to go home because i know that at home i can get a decent amount of uninterrupted sleep. i can see it now. sleeping 10-12 straight hours a day :) AND at home, i get free home cooked meals. at home i get to be a bum and not have to go out every single day. at home, trina's gonna be on break too so we get to hang out and do dumb stuff as usual. the shopping trip with gen was supposed to happen right after i finished my last final. actually it was supposed to happen yesterday but i was still in irvine. boooo. at home i get to hang out with my brother, whom i hardly talk to anymore cause we're both so busy. at home, i get to watch tv. at home, my mom will probably let me buy new things! hahaha. home is home.

things to do during spring break:
* spend time with my family & my uncle and aunt who are here from the Philippines
* hang out with old friends... gen, trina, gia, & darlene or anyone who's NOT busy
* watch tv
* get my license (ugh i think i'm gonna fail)
* sleep
* organize my life
* more that i cannot think of right now
* visit penney! (09!)
* prepare for next quarter?
* hang out with everyone!

things to look forward to during spring break:
* Kids Choice Awards!
* Sea World with the family, maybe
* catching up on life, sleep, the world, and with friends
* driving WITH or WITHOUT my license
* shopping

i'm not going into this spring break with any expectations so i hope it's good to me. ahhhh grades are posted for some classes! honestly, i don't mind getting a not so high grade on a final as long as my overall grade is good.

A is for ANNA!

so i'm almost done with my second year of college...and oh, what a ride it's been. you are where i want to be. i trust you with my lifeeeee. thanks for believing in me. the backstreet boys will never break my heart hahahah. i can see myself doing that. sleep, it's what's in. skittles taste the rainbow. you're the light of the world. i think this is a failed attempt at being vague because truthfully, it started off with thoughts from my head and later turned into a game of me looking at things around me and on my desk and just typing it out cause it sounds deep LOL. skittles taste the rainbow. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! hahahah oh well.

the end of my not so long blog. peace out. see you on the other side (of finals).

CONGRATULATIONS!
You and your registered guests (if any were requested online at the time request was placed)
have been accepted as:
SEATFILLERS for the 2007 Kids Choice Awards!!!

If you (or one of your guests) are unable to attend please reply back to Cancel the request or the specific guest who can't make it.
Otherwise a reply to this email is NOT NECESSARY.

NAME CHANGES:
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Please do not email me to ask I am already telling you we can not do it! Thx for understanding :)

ADDITIONAL GUESTS:
Any guests that come with you NOT already on the list will be placed in the standby line and will be taken solely subject to space available.
They may not get in!!!!! Please keep this in mind if you bring someone extra or new........

ARRIVING LATE: Just a reminder if you arrive after the check-in time we can not guarantee we will be able to check you in.

SHOW DETAILS

DATE: Saturday - March 31, 2007

LOCATION: UCLA Pauley Pavillion Westwood (Los Angeles), CA

CHECK-IN TIME: 1:30 PM

PARKING: Parking will be provided, it will be first come. More details to be provided in confirmation letter.

CASTED AGE RANGE: 16 - 21 ALL PARTICIPANTS MUST BE AT LEAST 16! No one under 16 will be able to participate as a SEATFILLER. All Participants must appear between the ages of 16 and 21 to meet this casting. Based on the information you provided us, your request meets these guidelines and all other guidelines posted online*. If any false or incorrect information was provided we reserve the right to refuse check-in.

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CONFIRMATIONS TO BE SENT: YOU ARE READING IT!! :) YOUR REQUEST IS CONFIRMED A FINAL LETTER WITH DETAILS WILL BE SENT TUESDAY MARCH 28.


SEE YOU SATURDAY MARCH 31!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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sons!

finals, they're such bugaboos.

good bye winter quarter. you stressed me out...but only minimally =P
hellooooooo one more quarter of my second year. where did the time go?!

at 4:50pm today I finished my last final... or more like yesterday. what a relief. thanks for dinner mel! i'm the back up of a back up of a back up hahaha. fun times NOT studying at interfaith. then i got to watch the Holiday with pelican bay + krystle! hooray! thanks for the hospitality meechy cool girl kirs marites & kathee! i love my visits there.

now i am unhealthily eating my leftovers from today, while sharing them with bernie of course.

good luck on finals everyone! you got this!...keep going... and then you too can join me in my "i'm done with finals but i'm still in irvine for no particular reason" party.

finals tip #6:
when stressed (and when you want to see people's away messages but not be logged on), go to buddyinfo.aim.com/away.

AIM is NOT your best friend around this time of the quarter so if you know that signing onto AIM will just add to your list of distractions and if you just want to see who's online or if someone's away, here is a nifty little link to satisfy your urges. you'll thank me later.
buddy info
it's the solution to your distraction problems.

with that, good night friends. i believe in you and am praying for you.

when stressed, write some rhymes to kill the time.

here we go yo, here we go yo, so what so what so what's the scenario?

yo yo check my flow
so what's the scenario?
tell the po po
that i got one mo'
to go befo' i go yo,
y'know?
that's g double o d good, no?
fo sho.
SO...

i'm finna hit the books & cop myself some A's...yaddamean son? finna sleep by FO' (probably earlier).
WORD.

g double o d luck on them finals foo's, you got this fo'real because yo' gangstas. BELIEVE.

HAHAHAHA

WHO AM I?
i'm practically delirious & listening to hip hop is not helping.
PEACE OUT HOMIES. see you after 6pm tonight!

(continued from last quarter's tips)
when stressed, fill out a survey.

1. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
it's been so longggg

2. What are you looking forward to?
spring break & meeting the man of my dreams at the kids choice awards :) hahahah.

3. Last time you rode a horse/pony?
senior year at the sunset ranch with the heart2heart crew

4. How are you feeling right now?
i'm lazy and not in the mood to study. i'm also sleepy

5. Who was the last person you hugged?
umm probably the people at noon mass on sunday?

6. What are you wearing right now?
sweater & jeans

7. Anyone on your mind right now?
no, is anyone on YOUR mind right now?

8. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
not currently

9. What's your favorite number?
24

10. Who was the last person to make you cry?
angie lol. jk. myself.

11. Did you ever go to camp?
no

12. When was the last time you cried?
two thursdays ago at the blessed sacrament

13. What is one thing you miss about your past?
my friends..the carefree-ness of it all

14. What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW?
e8

15. Are you jealous of anyone?
people on spring break

16. Is anyone jealous of you?
why would they be?

17. Has a friend ever abused you?
maybe...like verbally?

18. Has anyone recently told you that they like you more than as a friend?
no; it was kind of assumed. ugh

19. Who was the last person you drove with?
where i did the driving? my mom hahah... other than that, kirs & meechy

20. What do you dream?
i dream about sleeppppp.

21. What should you be doing?
STUDYING

22. Does it bother you when numbers have been skipped in surveys?
no

23. Are you addicted to Grey's Anatomy? no ( i think i'm part of the small minority)

24. How many things in your past do you regret?
none

25. Have you felt a good feeling inside of you?
sure

26. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
never... nbk fool

27. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
alex?

28. Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't have them?
hahah you could say that i guess? oh high school.

29. If you could change anything about your past, what would you change?
nothing


31. Do you like your life?
of course

32. Has one of your friends ever stabbed you in the back?
i wouldn't say stabbed

33. Did you forgive them?
yes

34. Have you picked up any phrases or sayings from a person?
OH let me count the ways... kirs-isms, meechy-isms, "terrible", "lawl", "your face", "dumbbbb", "son"

35. Do you get along with girls or guys better?
i'd like to say both

36. How long have you had MySpace? since august 2004! act like you know.

37. Has anyone ever cheated on you? no... if someone did, my song would be "irreplaceable" :] hahaha

38. Have you ever slapped a girl/boy in the face?
nope; i'm all for peace.

39. When I say Care Bears, what do you think of?
my coloring book

40. What are some of your biggest fears in your life? the future

41. Have you ever cried the whole day? no

42. Are things fair in your life? yes

43. Are you a player?
LOL player HATER.

44. What song are you listening to?
lost without you - robin thicke

45. Whats your nationality?
no soy mexicana! soy filipina!

47. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a co-worker?
no yuck

49. Do you like it when people your age say they are in love?
whatever makes them happy

SURVEY 2:
1. Do you tend to rip the paper off waterbottles?
yes, i usually rip, tear, crush anything that is in my hands once i've finished eating a meal.

2. If the mob was after you, what would you do?
cry and then call someone to help me

3. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
yes so on important days i need to be waken up by phone calls hahah.

4. If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you?
eh it depends. i'm not sure if i'm allergic to monkeys LOL.

5. What is the current advertisement on the side of the screen?
nothing?

6. What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
summer vacation maybe

7. When will you turn 18?
HA!!! I AM SO OLD. ugh. that was 2 years ago.

8. If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?
cry, panic and run away lol

9. How many pillows are on your bed?
about 5 HAHAHA. i love pillows :)

10. What song are you currently listening to?
bob marley & lauryn hill- "turn your lights down low"

11. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
no sir

12. If you caught significant other cheating on you what would you do?
cry & tell someone to beat him up for me hahah just kidding. i don't know. tell him off? BREAK UP WITH HIM. boys are trouble.

13. What time did you wake up this morning?
8 something?

14. Do you have any cousins?
A LOT.

15. Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
No...not unless it was the cardboard "box" from "Out of the Box" hahha. THAT looks like a cool place to live.

16. Who was the last person you talked to?
on the phone? gen...in person? bernie

17. What is the WORST subject they teach at school?
math =P

18. Where do you plan on living when you grow up?
wow. am i a grown up right now? i live in an apt and i plan on living in a house "when i grow up"

19. What was your dream this morning?
i forgot.

20. How many times have you seen your favorite movie?
? a lot?

21. Where was the last place you traveled?
weinerschnitzel & target

22. How was your past weekend?
boring. i studied ALL weekend.

23. What is your favorite song?
i have too many. currently, i've been listening to lily allen's "smile" hahah.

24. If puppys stayed small forever, would you buy one?
perhaps

25. What is the best ice cream flavor?
cookie dough, banana ice cream with graham cracker pie crust, chocolate malted crunch, in no particular order.

26. Ever liked someone that you didnt think you stood a chance with?
yes

27. Do you think you are attractive?
...yuck. ugly, i ain't got no aliby.

28. Is someone on your mind right now?
his name is environmental analysis and design...you can call him e8 for short

29. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
i don't think so. it requires much thinking

30. Do you worry about how you look?
i'm a girl.

31. Would you ever change for a boy/girl?
NO. that is against my great heart & right conscience. LOVE ME FOR ME FOOLS.

33. Have you ever been on stage?
yes, if the hollywood bowl counts :)

34. Can you whistle?
no

35. Would you do anything for that special someone?
i guess. i have yet to find that person.

36. Do you know who stewie griffin is?
yes

37. Can you say you've never cheated in a relationship?
I have never cheated in any of my non-existent former relationships

38. Do you hangout with more guys or girls?
wow. why does this seem repetitive? um... girls.

39. Why?
because they get me? hahah.

40. Have you ever thought a friend could be more than a friend?
never thought about it.

41. Do you like the beach?
depends on the weather

42. What color is your toothbrush?
pink. are you surprised?

43. What makes you laugh?
your face

44. Are you ticklish?
sometimes.

45. Have you ever been in a hotel room with your friends/ opposite sex?
debuts!!

who am i kidding?

i do.


sdkjlfashdkjfsdlkjhdkgljasgksadghaksldjghaskdjghaskdlghaskldjghaskdjgha
skdgjhasdklgjahskjdlgdsakjlgahsdlkgj


can't stop. won't stop.

motivate me.



christine bought these motivational lisa frank stickers from target. it takes me back to my childhood. why is it that every time finals come around, i revert back to being a kid? WHO KNOWS? this helps, i guess.

i just want finals to be over.
i'm not even stressed right now, JUST LAZY.

a part of me wants to wing it.
but the rational "i need to get a good grade, overachiever" part of me says no.
so i won't.

I NEED TO slash WILL STUDY.

i AM.



praying for you all!

Save us oh Lord.

WINNING TEAM!
i can do this and so can you.

the END of my blogging streak.

ugh i missed it by like 3 hours. i forgot all about it. LAME. anyway, it's been a good two weeks gian paolo. nice knowing you... just kidding... JOKE LANG HA? hindi mexicana ako. filipina ako! =P pasensya ka na ha... hindi magaling ng tagalog ko! i think that was very grammatically incorrect. anyway, next time you're in town you owe me thai bbq & a faith talk. thanks. have a safe trip to wherever you're headed. wowowee!

i took an hour nap today after a trip to the library. it rejuvenated me. i was falling asleep at pbay and then we watched tfc and i lost my sleepiness. that's what tfc does to you.

at work, this strict scary filipino mom wanted me to give her her daughter's transcript and then read her daughter's grades OUT LOUD..."D in calculus? didn't you take that in high school? i see you rolling your eyes at me like you have a seizure... but i want you to work hard and get a bette grade. it's for your own good." how rude. i would not want my mom to do that to me.

sooo 34 pages of soc. to read? totally do-able. i just need discipline. tomorrow is urban sociology day!

i'm so lazy sometimes. it sucks. i want spring break to come already. i want to practice driving. i want my license. i also want banana ice cream from coldstone. in addition, i want a new phone!

thanks for dinner tonight! good food, good company, good laughs.

ay yo, that place was POPPIN' for real.

i'm sleepy. i think i shall sleep soon. i'm muy tired.

good luck studying fools! :)

Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the wrong words seem to rhyme / Out of the doubt that fills my mind / I somehow find / You and I collide / I'm quiet you know / You make a first impression / I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind / Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the stars refuse to shine /Out of the back you fall in time / I somehow find / You and I collide

I've been doing these double posts in one day blogs A LOT lately. it's kind of lame. i think it's because it's almost finals week. ugh. this is my form of stress relief.

i woke up and went to work early today around like 10 and left around 12 and then i went to some of mass and then i walked back to the apt and met up with gia & darlene! they visited me and theresa! yay!

i'm like the happiest girl ever. i love hanging out with my immac friends. yes, IMMAC. act like you know. it's like a given. we're so loud together. i love it. there are some things that you can only talk about with your h.s. or old friends and that's how it was today. i thought i was a pretty open person but after our "talk," i realized that there are still some things about me that only my h.s. friends know i guess. it's that panda bond. seatbelts, cha for tea, cute, driving, dead bee, hyperventilating, dude, this is nothing, epipen, "it says DON'T put your fingers near the needle, girl talks, "anna just date a nerd", adam, ron, hahahaha, "why is she so happy?!... YES!", desperate like someone else lol, "no energy to be single", "how does that make you feel?", "boys think girls are dumb", i don't know. all i know is that it was much needed. i forgot how it felt. THANK YOU FOR TODAY barlene & gpang. i love you! we shall do it again! wednesday? i hope. lessons learned today: be open, you're not unlikeable (as long as you have friends, it's pretty safe to say that you're not), i never want to use the epipen after seeing how long that needle is and hearing it click. yuck.

i missed e8! :/ sorry bellacoolmay. i'll make it up to you somehow.

also, sorry to break it to you but we used my expired epipen ( haha sorry gp & sarah). darlene's practically a nurse so i trust her with my life more than i trust myself. here are some exciting pictures from the event. DUDE if only someone captured my face when i stuck the epipen into the apple. HAHAHA it was funny. my reaction was priceless.

i like working at the window sometimes. i'm on my break. so far i've seen kenny loo, adrian, & erwin. it makes the work day not so boring when i actually get to interact with people.

so i want to try banana cupcakes from sprinkles. apparently, they serve banana cupcakes on thursday. yum. i love banana ice cream from coldstone so i think there's a good chance i'd like banana cupcakes from sprinkles lol. k i'm getting paranoid now. i'm bored. have a good day.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20014952,00.html

while forever seems to take its time / we're still standing here in line waiting for the sun to rise / as she looks on she's so confused / her heart is lonely broken and bruised / a closed circle with no more room for one more, screams "to hell with you" / what's wrong with this picture? / what's wrong with this picture? / did you ever stop to think a thief in the night has come to steal your loved ones? / did you ever take the time to see the world around us is falling apart? / eyes closed / we've all had our eyes closed / our hands behind our back we run and hide / from everything that moves / from everything that might put out this little light of mine

there's only so much that ONE person can do.
be the CHANGE you wish to see in the world.

Lord God, please make me an instrument of Your peace & of Your love. THAT is the true cry of my heart. my love is all i have to give and sometimes it seems to be nowhere near good enough. but i can try. i want to give more, love more, serve more, be more... through Your graces.

nothing a little tape can't fix? i want to be that tape.

i just want you to smile, please.

what is going on? can you feel it? it's time to stop running.

thank You for another quarter of growth, challenges, struggles, achievements, smiles, tears, laughter, and crosses. it's almost finals week. do not be afraid hahaha.

i'm frightenly calm about my midterm tomorrow. it's scaring me. i'm listening to music and blogging instead of studying. ugh the pressure. i'll sleep by 3 am. i promise.

i'd make a fool of myself if it meant that you would laugh. really.

okay He says it's time to study so it must be. ugh. man. ugh. this school thing puts a damper on all of my plans & my sleep.

the things i do to keep blogging.

so a while back, cool girl kirs suggested that i watch ugly betty. i was pretty hesitant... primarily because ever since i started college i haven't been the type to spend enough time in front of the tv to get into shows. however, i decided to look into it last night when i was avoiding my reading and i have to admit that i'm pretty taken by it. my mom watches it too... she actually told me that betty reminded her of ME?! i don't know whether i should take that as an insult or not... she justified it by saying that "she gets placed into awkward situations... but she's smart and pretty behind her glasses". SURE. i don't even think she's ugly. pretty betty HAHAH... she empowers me. i shall watch more episodes in the future... as in when finals are over. thanks cg.

anyway, i managed to read most if not all of psych this weekend. go me!

i know i shouldn't get my hopes up but i seriously want to be a seat filler for the kids choice awards. bernie was like "you're gonna be sitting next to 11 yr olds"... but she's only thinking about one side... you never know who might be on the other side of the seat(s) that i'm filling... be it a high school musical'er, disney channel'er, hilary duff, lindsay lohan, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. i can only dream. plus... my time is running out. they only let 16-21 yr olds become seat fillers. i'm one yr shy of being too old to do it so let me do it pleaaase. i'll be the happiest girl ever!

so back to the books. it's week 10, again & i'm kicking it off with another manic monday. i wish it was sunday. dumb daylight savings.

from the incredible amount of reading that still have to do. taking notes makes the reading even longer.

something about being at home keeps me grounded & i like it. "hey liza, guess what..." i had no idea how much i missed it. i like catching up because it's a totally different kind of catching up now. it's grown-up talk. i like the fact that we're practically on the same level now. you make me proud. you're one of a kind & don't ever underestimate yourself (ha! i should take my own advice). i'm praying for you alwaaays yo. despite how much we've grown and how different our paths are and may be in the future...in many ways, we're still the same dumb kids we were at 4 and 5, 7 and 8, 11 and 12, 15 & 16, (etc) & i love it.

reading about all these psychological disorders makes me believe that i actually have them. i'm diagnosing myself lol.

so i signed up to be a seatfiller for the Kids Choice Awards with Alex, Gen & Gia...hopefully we actually get to be seat fillers because guess who's the host this year? JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!!!!!! i know right?! and it's at UCLA's Pauley Pavillion. Talk about convenient.

i ran into my ring sister Kristina at mass today. it made me smile because that girl NEVER goes home ever. we will hang out again sooon. feel better.

even though we lost an hour this weekend, i feel emotionally rejuvenated & i'm glad because this week, i'm definitely going to need all the energy i can get.

thank you for putting up with my recent moodiness! you're awesome & i'm glad you're my friends :)

praying for you.

have a good Sunday.

it is hot.

ice cream goes a long way.

home, you're exactly what i need.

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure / why everything's turned inside out / Instilling so much doubt / It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired / My head is battling with my heart / My logic has been torn apart / And now it all turns sour / Come sweeten every afternoon

anna liza, you are so frustrating sometimes. why are you so inconfident? why are you so insecure? why do you insist upon putting yourself down? why don't you see the good in you when everyone around you sees it? sometimes i make my life so incredibly complicated & it's ALWAYS always always frustrating when i do. i'm so stubborn sometimes... okay more like most of the time. this is not right... at all.

Change my heart this time, Your word says it can be.

home alone... but not really. i want to go to that in-between place. i wish i knew where it was. let's just get away. or i want to get away.

AWK-WARD. tonight will be AWK-WARD.

two, two, two, one.

i'm sleepy. i don't think i'm the funnest person to be around when i'm like this. oh aye for sure. this is a dumb entry. it's just me complaining when i shouldn't be... because I'm so blessed.

today was a strange day. i don't know why but it was.

GOOD BYE.

my phone sucks!

a lot.

i don't feel like reading. kasdjghasdjkgsadklghasdk.

i'm not ready for finals.

i needed that.

i'm not giving up blogging for lent.

I'm good to go / And I'm going nowhere fast / It could be worse / It could be taking you there with me / I'm good to go / But it looks like I'm still on my own / I'm good to go / For something golden / Though the motions I've been going through have failed / And I'm coasting on potential towards a wall / At a 100 miles an hour / When I say /Two more weeks /My foot is in the door (yeah) / I can't sleep / In the wake of Saturday (Saturday) /Saturday / When these open doors were open-ended / Saturday / When these open doors were open-ended / And I read about the afterlife / But I never really lived more than an hour (more than an hour)

i'm beginning to think that the way i drive reflects the way i live. cautious. fearful. anxious. suppressing any ounce of confidence that i may have out of fear that i'll fail or hit something... out of a fear that i'm not good... or more importantly good enough. it's so lame because i know i am completely capable of driving. i know that i don't necessarily suck at it. but i still keep saying that i can't and if anything, the "can't" is inhibiting me, inhibiting my potential to get better. the more you say you can't, you can't. words are powerful that way. i will overcome this lack of confidence. i will. thank you for letting me drive your car(s). i need all the practice i can get. i need to believe in myself. that should be my new mantra. "believe in yourself"...always easier said than done.

i'm inflicting this upon myself.

ugh.

older.

other than that, i feel refreshed after 7-8 hours of sleep. so good. thank you for yesterday! it was a much needed break from reality.

i'm again at a loss for words. i cannot continue this blog entry. lol. i think i've milked it for all its worth practically.

hope everyone is having a wonderful week 9! praying for you all.

DEPTH. so lately my blogs have been pretty boring. what can i say? when you're so preoccupied with trying to blog every day, you have little time to prepare an entry worth reading. quantity over quality. that seems to be the recurring route that i've been taking lately. maybe it's the fact that i'm blogging more for you than i am for me? actually i take it back, i don't make sense right now.

to go along with that thought...i take too many things back, i am "just kidding" more times than i should be, i don't know far too often, i walk around rather than walk through things, i dig holes rather than fill them, i speculate about rather than confirm every decision, i tip toe rather than leave footprints, i prefer to whisper instead of shout, i opt for following rather than initiating, i'm quick to classify the unbelievable and slow to recognize the truth, i question but never answer. to sum things up, i'm too hesitant for my own good.

i need to learn how to use exclamation marks because i've definitely been overusing the question marks. forreal.

i don't doubt that they will be loved because i know that they are...by You.

step back. lean back. back back back back back backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

i want to regurgitate all the tiny details of my life from the past few days but considering how lazy & tired i am, it's pretty much impossible.

you mean the world to me & even during the days when you feel like you can't... i know you can!cheer up friends.

with that being said, i close. who seconds the motion?

i am a rebel without a cause. pretty much.

i want to blog about a lot of things but i'm so exhausted that these short entries are all i can hash out at the moment.

Oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart.

i'd answer my phone if i got a new one. i promise.

NOISE COMPLAINT?! what the heck dude. it's 3 in the morning and there is NO music whatsoever coming from this apt. get your facts straight.

i believe in you!

don't worry, be happy.

smile.

it'll be a good day.

i've had some crazy dreams.
sleep, i love you.
WINNER!

as i sit here, staring at the computer screen, browsing for new reads on the daily blogs (gp's, meechy's, kirs's, kathee's, kim's, jay's, and those belonging to fellow bloggers who actually update on a regular basis), i've been looking back on areas of my life that i've fallen short of during these past few weeks. i've come to the conclusion that my friendship skills haven't exactly been up to par. i mean they're decent but nowhere near the level that they've been on in the past. in other words, i don't feel like i've truly BEEN THERE been there for anyone lately. this isn't meant to sound pitiful or sad. it's just a realization that i've come to grips with as of late. i'll try harder. i've also been lacking in the daughter department by failing to do simple things such as respond to my mom's voicemail messages on time or forgetting to inform her that my epipen has expired. i haven't even talked to my brother since last friday. what kind of a sister am i anyway?! and then there's anna, the student and she's been quite the mess lately. her desk is disorganized. her notes are all over the place. some of her books are still left untouched & definitely unread. yet her computer is on and microsoft word is not even one of the programs open. WHO AM I BECOMING? going to sleep at 3am - 4am in the morning, waking up with only 5-6 hours of sleep under my belt, withdrawing from one-on-one conversations, surviving off of an irregular eating schedule & appetite, losing touch, trying to control things that are out of my control and not making an effort to control things that are actually within my control, letting go but holding on, i am so confused and all i can do is blog.

actually i'm wrong. there are other things i can probably do, but i choose not to. it's a choice and i keep vying for the irrational.

right now, i choose You & despite it all, thank You for choosing ME.

i'm so sleepy but there's work to be done.

PRAYERS.

why must i insist on blogging even though i have more important things to do?
oh yeah, it is my form of stress relief.

the next few days & weeks should be interesting...actually the rest of this year should be.

but for now, let's focus on today.

i never asked for this but i'm accepting it because it's from You.

it's funny how i keep pushing. i don't know when to stop.

overall, good weekend & good company. i love friends.

how deep is too deep? how do you measure it?

vague!!!!!!

happy 21st birthday derrick dumo the pimp :)

I HAVE SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON.

i never feel like i'm doing anything. ever.

but today was something.
thank You.

sometimes i let my emotions get the best of me & i shouldn't let them. yuck.

welcome back GP!!!! that was a pleasant surprise.

thank you for the rap & the birthday gift (you reaaaally didn't have to). i was so lucky to see such a busy & COOL person like you today! hahah.

happy birthday sarah ghostface killian from the hoods of parkwest & teenage mutant ninja lennar! :)

praying for you all. the tests & papers have nothing on you. you got this.

you have this gift of making my frown turn upside down.

SMILE, happiness you can model it.

Bright just like the stars above me
Proud just like my mother planned it
Short on all the things I don't want
I'm full of love and longing
Take me by the hand and tell me
You would take me anywhere
Still, cause I don't want to move a thing
And all the things I don't want they're full
Of love and longing
Take me by the hand and tell me
You would take me anywhere
And it goes, its like a come on come on to me
And it goes it's like a come on come on to me
You, you say you don't see any part of me
To love in all this mess and I know
You take the good and all the bad that comes with me

one positive thing again? i don't know if i can do it.

but with a little help from my friends
i found a light in the tunnel at the end...
at worst i feel bad for a while, but then i just smile
i go ahead and smile

Lord God, thank You for blessing me with another day to live, breathe, smile, & love.
I wake up in the mornings, not always in the happiest of moods. However, realizing that each day is a new opportunity to serve gives me that extra push to get up & go... for Him and for you.

How tired i look on the outside doesn't reflect how grateful i am on the inside. I'm excited about tomorrow. It almost marks a year since my first homeless outreach and each experience is a gift...it's a gift that definitely keeps on giving. i can't wait to experience it again, through YOUR eyes. i think that's what keeps me going right now, despite running on a few hours of sleep.

haha, looking back on my old entries... they're pretty superficial anddddd that's why i like them. let's take it back... way back, back in the day. today i woke up, walked to urban soc lecture, had lunch with kathy...09 double date! hahah we ran into abby & toni when we were on ring road. no matter how short our encounters or hang outs are, they ALWAYS bring a smile to my face. no doubt. i love us. lol. yay! anyway, then we had psych and then i went to work. happy birthday steph! you are not old at all. then i walked home and looked up summer school classes. ling 10? educ 124? socecol194W? upper div am i ready for you? called the brother cause my mom made me... lol. walked to interfaith! costco shopping trip! am i ever ready for anything?! cheese pizza & a lot of frozen yogurt. drove to sherrys! yes. i drove. hung out for a while. i just took a shower and now im back home.

dude tomorrow's gonna be SUCH a busy day. a good kind of busy. i seriously have to buckle down and read and study. i should learn from bernie. she knows all. she's so good at prioritizing. the one thing that i'm FOR SURE going to do tomorrow: homeless outreach!

i found two ants on my desk. YUCK. i need to clean & organize my desk and closet. i can't study in my room because of it. i also need to plan my summer & plan my week and just be an adult for once. sjgaksdghasdklgjaskdg. here goes nothing. fo'real.

praying for all of you. i believe in YOU.

thanks for believing in me, loving me, and trusting me. it means a lot. you light my fire.

i am meechy keen (12:29:43 AM): believe in yourself
i am meechy keen (12:30:35 AM): you will fall and maybe you'll disappoint yourself, but if you do everything with great love and make choices that make you happy, then there's no reason you would let down those around you
i am meechy keen (12:30:46 AM): because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

thank you meechy! i so needed to hear that. lylas&m. thanks for listening.
Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous, teach me to serve you as I should...
Should my heart not be humble, should my eyes fail to see,
should my feet sometimes stumble on the way, stay with me...

let my heart be changed, renewed...

thank You for this cross, Lord

let me.

she's going to make up her pretty face
and cast away her weekday blues

...but i know the heart of life is good.

it may be long to get me there,
feels like i've been everywhere
but someday i'll be comin' home.

cause you make me smile, please stay for a while now
just take your time wherever you go

future imperfect.

hesanexcellentteacher. thanks for letting me drive yesterday. thanks for letting me be the "go-to." i do not hate you. thanks for the thoughtful text yo. thanks for introducing me to Colbie Caillat. soooo goooood. despite the now rare times that we get to talk during the day, you always find a way to put things into perspective for me. i<3utwin@<3. we're on the same boat...that seems to be sinking at this moment hahah jk. that's so emo but seriously. cgitew, thanks for believing in me. thanks for the prayers.

sometimes i think i bite off more than i can chew.

exhausted.