SuperNixon2 (7:18:10 PM): miss anna liza life's all about perspectives
SuperNixon2 (7:18:23 PM): smile and think wow what do i get to learn this quarter
- Sarah Killian speaking to 1st year Anna (April 1st, 2006)

time flies... and can i just say that this is one of the reasons why i love liwanag. last quarter ever, let's do this.

i love being a senior because i have the luxury of dropping classes that i don't want to take just because i don't want to or have to take them so i went from 16 to 12. welcome to the good life! anyway my schedule for this quarter consists of 12 units... 1 class a day except friday... and then research, work, and the career center somewhere in the scheme of all of that. but before i start celebrating, i need to make an appointment with a school counselor to make sure i'm not missing anything. can't rely solely on the degree audit. i like my human stress class so far. i think this class will be the most beneficial to me... stress = story of my life. so we'll see how much it helps. other than that, i'm doing drop in counseling at the Career Center on Mondays again. however, for the 2nd hour that I'm working, i'm the only scheduled peer for that hour which means double the students to help. i can't be sleepy on monday mornings.

lots of things to do for the quarter. it feels so surreal. we're signing up for graduation tickets next week. REALLY?! is this happening?! i'm starting the job search. ha. it seems like all the jobs that sound interesting are jobs i wouldn't be qualified enough for... but then again, should i really sell myself short by automatically avoiding job titles with the word "director"? i may have the degree soon enough but i'll always be lacking in experience... for now at least. need to build that experience. alright, i'm going to stop talking and start taking action rightttt NOW. it's time to go to campus! bye.

this was my last spring break ever (until i go to grad school that is) but technically i consider this my last spring break as a college student and although i didn't spend it partying hard... or even being productive, it was fun.

i spent it watching TV (surprise!) and cooking (surprise surprise!) and spending time with friends. i didnt get to spend time with everyone i wanted to spend time with, it's okay because soon i'll have what will feel like all the time in the world :(

anyway, i also got to watch old degrassi episodes. i am totally watching "degrassi goes to hollywood soon." speaking of degrassi, i got to listen to a couple drake tracks courtesy of alex... and he is pretty good. who knew that aubrey graham had it in him? i met him not once but twice during my degrassi fanatic days... refer to picture below (2005... the day i fell off of the tree at the glendale galleria):

i've also been watching lots of disney channel and TLC. kate gosselin is gonna be at the americana on april 14th FYI!!!!!

i've been getting too lazy to blog. yesterday i went to disneyland with gia and it was fun...except... i LOST or misplaced my disney pass!!!!! I KNOW RIGHT?! luckily they have 1 courtesy pass a year so i used that to get in... but that was an epic fail if there ever was one. i also bought this awesome new mickey graduation cap:



i think i've been using tv and sleep as an escape to avoid doing everything i should be doing. boooo. so i better get started on that stuff. goodbye spring break. i will miss you!

yay spring break! so what has my spring break consisted of? well on friday, after my final, i went to disneyland with abby, bmay & jamie! we had yummy ice cream. it was well-deserved. then we headed to wendy's and kathy's crazy party. at around 2 we left and crashed at our apt. the next day, i ate some yummy filipino food with some cool people! :) then i was a third wheel and watched "i love you man" with joe & brenton. i went home saturday night and spent sunday sleeping in and going to mass, eating at cheesecake factory, walking around the mall, napping, and unfortunately working on a paper that's due tomorrow. yesterday i went shopping at glendale with alex. i got a shirt from h&m and new sandals from urban... BUT i used gift cards so technically i used guilt-free money. yayyyy. that's the best kind! today i hung out with brenton at westwood! we ate some yummy teriyaki food and walked around westwood and UCLA & got diddy riese cookie sandwiches! yayyy then i went home and ate wingstop with my brother. and ever since saturday, i've been getting at LEAST 10 hours of sleep a day. PLUS! i've been watching disney channel and i really like "sonny with a chance" hahaha... not-so guilty pleasure. but it sounds like a successful spring break to me.

however, there are a few days left and i plan on making the most of it... so goodbye internet and hello sleep! i wanna hang out so let me know if you're free!!! hope you're all having a great spring break too!

p.s. i really want to see 17 AGAIN with my other bf zac... and i also kinda sorta wanna see the hannah montana movie lol. that's all. the end!

:X


enough with the talking.
i'm going to prove that i can walk the walk.


i can't wait for another LA spring break because i get to hang out with the LA kids + brenton michael (ok... i guess he can be an LA kid now ...) and go to dland with gpang!!! and make more use of my pass before it expires!!! the last time i went was in december with brenton and even then, i was blocked out & so technically i wasn't using it. i think i wanna renew it because so many people have it and then i'd get to go with the career center people & my friends back home (gen! gia!) in addition to log.


i kinda sorta want an immac reunion! i miss you guys (d.meza & berniceeee, kayla, trina, caitlin, etc.)

ok back to the books for real.

another tip.

finals week tip # ??: grab breakfast/ lunch/dinner with a friend. i know it's easy to be greedy with your study time... but you're gonna have to eat eventually. why not eat with a friend and release some of that finals anxiety with good conversation & a good meal. yummmm.

props to ace for some yummy food & awesome company! you know how to treat a girl hahah.

in other news, i'm at langson, "studying" it up right now. i've never had to wait this long to take a final... actually, maybe i have but it feels like this week has been dragging on and on for too long. FRIDAY PLEASE COME SOON! I want to say hello to spring break too!

anyway, i should make better use of this time and get back to work. see ya on the other side... or better yet, see ya tomorrow. good luck friends! <33333

Labels: finals, finals tips

finals tip # ??: laugh. what's a finals week without laughter? if you start to take the studying a little too seriously, call a friend, read a blog or something that will make you laugh...it's a nice break from it all AND it takes your mind off of things for a little while. laughter is always the best medicine.

the end.
cue studying.

Labels: finals, finals tips

it was my last day of classes for winter quarter! it feels... bittersweet. i want this quarter to be over but i'm starting to feel anxiety over graduation...not to mention, i'm starting to feel sad. so much is going on in my head right now! i don't know what to say because there's just so much to say! *breathe*

i just had a 20 minute convo with one of my co-workers at the Registrar and he had encouraging advice for me... but I still feel discouraged knowing what I'm going to be up against.

i'm gonna miss my classes. i loved my professors this quarter. i learned a lot. it was fitting that the last lecture for adolescent development had to do with "emerging adulthood." it's extremely relevant to my current stage of life. what's next?

the possibilities are endless... or so they seem. but i'm feeling a little better about deciding not to jump into grad school right away. it gives me more time to set my priorities straight and figure myself out. my co-worker also reassured me that my resume & list of experiences can make me a competitive candidate for whatever jobs i apply to. however, i don't want anyone to think that i'm naive about the difficulty of finding a job in this economy. i am WELL-AWARE of how hard it's going to be but knowing that i have a stable and strong support system & that i have decent work and leadership experience under my belt is comforting.

as you can see, i am just killing time until i have to do a workshop at middle earth. yay career center workshops. i'm gonna be presenting on resumes and interview techniques. but what i'm REALLY excited about is our new calendar of events for this quarter. it's gotten revamped & it underwent an amazing makeover... see for yourself:


isn't it amazing?! this is something i'd want to do somewhere down the line... using my creativity to design and make a product like that! i miss drawing and doing crafty things. i feel like i lost that side of me once i entered college. it's weird but i feel like i'm finally realizing my passions in life and it feels good.

this blog entry is ALL over the place... more notes to self... venting is bad. active listening & communication is good. i am stopping it at the source. people are the way they are and there's nothing i can do to change them... but i CAN let them know how their actions are affecting me. i just have to put an end to my passiveness.

another side note... I LOVE UCI! I've enjoyed every moment of being an anteater and if i could go back in time to talk to my 18 year old self, i would tell myself that going to UCI was the right choice for me. all the organizations i've been a part of and the activities i've done and the people that i've met... they've all made me who i am and i wouldn't change that for the world. of course, i do have some regrets... there are a lot of "what if's" but i think that the "remember when's" definitely outnumber those.

I AM EXCITED to make the most of my last quarter at UCI. i love my professors, i love my supervisors, i love my friends, i love my life. this entry almost sounds like an advertisement for UCI. anyway, i should get to that paper and start prepping for that workshop.

that's all. good bye... ttyl... or next week for my 2nd to last installment of finals tips! :O

first of all, i don't think i ever mentioned this to some of the people who read my blog but i'm sorry if i haven't been leaving you all a slew of comments lately. one of the things i've given up for lent is reading blogs & celebrity gossip sites. don't take it personally. i'm dying to hear about the cool things going on in your lives but i can't read about them. if you have something you desperately want to tell me, call me, text me, or leave me a message, or better yet, talk to me in person! :) i'd love to hear from you.

my lenten journey has been an interesting one. it gets difficult & sometimes I forget what i promised myself & what i promised You. i really have been trying to live on a prayer & not on the superficial but i am human.

it's 10th week! i am almost done with this quarter. 2 more papers & 1 final are keeping me from spring break. crazy. i am freaking myself out about post-graduation life & i am moments away from a nervous breakdown... but my life is in Your hands right? that still doesn't give me a right to slack off so i won't.

there are a ton of things i have to take care of & a ton of things i want to do before i graduate. i will make them happen.

other than that, this weekend was a good one. it was a well-deserved break from last week which was incredibly hectic. i went to the peer consultant conference at UCR yesterday & i realize that i love taking tours of new places. it was fun seeing & learning about UCR & their career center. it also gave me a deeper appreciation for my own college & career center. not to mention, it was awesome getting to know the other peers better. i never came into this experience expecting that i'd be meeting lifelong friends but never say never. my friendships with a few of these peers are growing & it makes me happy.

i haven't gotten around to thanking everyone for their birthday greetings... but i will... eventually lol. i am such a bad procrastinator.

before i close this blog, i just wanted to say, Thank Y0u for never giving up on me.

love, anna

sometimes i feel like this is keeping me from You.

i will not internalize.




---------------------
another thing that pushes my buttons:
when people guilt-trip me.


8/8.

good night.

8/10 pages done.
0/6 pages done.




...in the desert.

i really wish you'd stop thinking that you were the "sugar-honey-iced-tea" (pardon the language) because you are not. none of us are. maybe you are aware of your actions but for some reason, you walk around acting you own the world; that the world revolves around you; that you know more than the people you're surrounded by; that you've learned all you can learn and it's your sole responsibility to teach; that you're more mature than you actually are.

i'm trying to shake off all this negativity but when i see you, i can't help but harbor some resentment. I don't understand how you can make me feel this badly about myself, how you make me doubt my abilities, especially since you probably don't intend to make me feel this way... i need to stop convincing myself that you are out to get me. i need to stop letting you & your actions affect me. i have to constantly remind myself that who i am & my worth is not determined by how many people i please or how many people like me. this unhealthy habit is damaging my self-confidence and is eating away at the Goodness that lives inside of me.

so here i am, i am OWNING my frustrations. i am owning my annoyance. these feelings of negativity, they are MINE. i am not going to shove them into another person's direction because that person doesn't deserve to be hit with the dirt off my back. now that i'm owning these feelings, i am simply going to lift them up to You because i can't take it anymore. it has become too much of a burden and less of a cross. i make it out to be a cross when all it really is is a lump of heavy coal.

i used to be able to see the Good in everyone around me but this year has been a completely different story. maybe i'm guilty of comparing things to how they used to be but that's not a valid excuse to pass on my negativity as though it were some contagious disease. no one deserves to feel this negative. i know i don't and yet i continue to feed into it through my thoughts.

instead of thinking of ways to be mean to you or ignore you, this Lent (and hopefully for the rest of my life) i'm determined not to let you bother me, take the high road, & say a prayer for you rather than curse you because i know that in the long run, it's between me & God. it was never between me & you anyway.

I was sittin at home just so
frustrated, aggravated
wondering why I let people make me so crazy
then realized it's my fault by being around
negativity
Cuz I don't have to know them and they don't have
to know me

Everytime I see you giving me bad news
I'm a let you know that you gotta go
If one day you call me and you dog me
I'm a gonna let you know that you gotta go
If it's something that we talked about that you
go run you mouth about
I'ma gonna let you know
If you always bring me down then you gotta go,
ohhh

I wanna, no I gonna
live life with no drama
I wanna be, happy
live life stress free
so I, so I'm gonna live life with no drama
not gone let this world get the best of me
best of me, best of me

There were people in my life I thought were cool,
not true
cuz it seem like they just wanted me to lose,
they had issues
then I realized they only hold me down if I allow
them to
so to be happy I cut them lose if that's what I
have to do

Everytime I see you giving me bad news bad news
I'm a let you know that you gotta go, gotta go
If one day you call me, call me and you dog me,
dog me

I'm a gonna let you know that you gotta go
If it's something that we talked about that you
go run you mouth about
I'ma gonna let you know
If you always bring me down then you gotta go,
ohhh

I wanna, no I gonna
live life with no drama
I wanna be, happy
live life stress free, yeah
so I, so I'm, gonna, gonna
live life with no drama
not gone let this world get the best of me
best of me, oh

I just want positive people in my life
Not negative energy hater types
Don't wanna see the type that just might try and
steal my sunshine
Ohh
I just wanna keep enjoying life and not let the
good times pass me by
I'm gone try to live my life with no drama no
drama

I wanna, no I'm gonna
live life with no drama
I wanna be, happy
live life stress free, free
so I, so I'm, gonna, gonna
live life with no drama
not gone let this world get the best of me
best of me, best of me

I wanna, no I gonna
live life with no drama
I wanna be, happy
live life stress free, yeah
so I, so I'm, gonna, gonna
live life with no drama
not gone let this world get the best of me
best of me, oh

I wanna, no I gonna
live life with no drama
I wanna be, happy
live life stress free, happy, happy
so I, so I'm, gonna, gonna
live life with no drama
not gone let this world get the best of me
best of me, oh


note to self:
let Him take the lead.
you can't control other people's actions or attitudes but you can control the way you react to them.
the little things mean nothing in comparison to the bigger scheme of things.
don't lose yourself in the negativity.
let go of the negative but hold on to the positive.
BE HAPPY.
ENJOY YOUR LAST YEAR AT UCI.
let go, let God.
true life is in God and God alone.