In 6 hours, the solution changes from hydrogen peroxide to water. IT'S AMAZING! anyway, that's all. hahah. have a good week. YAY finals! it actually doesn't feel like a finals week to me... maybe cause it's summer. oh well i need to study.

bringing it back...
finals tip #10: think positively.

(11:06:49 PM): aww thanks anna! omg im so glad youre here to anchor me!
(11:23:30 PM): man! being an adult is hard!
(11:23:39 PM): i totally felt it on my birthday
(11:23:49 PM): yeah it definitely is
(11:23:54 PM): the pressure of all the responsibility
(11:24:00 PM): so scary
(11:24:12 PM): when people would ask "how do you feel now that youre 18?"
(11:24:17 PM): id respond "i feel fear"
(11:24:18 PM): hahaaha
(12:02:23 AM): life's gonna be so different
(12:08:33 AM): it is
(12:09:08 AM): but a good kind of different
(12:09:11 AM): it's growth
(12:09:21 AM): youre so positive
(12:09:22 AM): ilove it
(12:09:28 AM): i need to start being positive again

if you glanced over the conversation and ignored the "18", you could mistake me for the person in blue. what she says sounds like something i would say and honestly, i still say those things. but it's weird...going from being the college freshman looking for someone older and wiser to turn to, to being the person who's turned to. what's even weirder is that she called ME positive! since when have i been called positive? especially since i'm so down on myself most of the time. but i think i'm gradually overcoming that. you're right. it's unhealthy. i better start taking the advice i dish out. this is eerie. it's almost been 2 years since i started my college journey. so much has CHANGED. yes change. for some reason, i feel more called to accept all these changes lately. if you can't beat them, join them.

aside from that, allergies I HATE YOU. booo on you. you make my skin itch and my eyes water and my nose sneeze!!!!!!

caitlin's coming back.... so you know what that means?! makeshift kairos here we come :]

they say my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin... LITERALLY. thanks mentor for taking me to mcdonald's to get my new hello kitty lip gloss compact. it's so pretty. i love it. i don't remember who mentioned it but someone (it was probably dean) said that i had a lot of hello kitty stuff. i was about to say no but then i realized...i had a hello kitty pencil case, hello kitty eraser, pez dispenser, box, bracelet, ring, and my compact among other things. it's kind of funny. i think abby beats me in the hello kitty dept though. growing up i preferred pochacco hahah.

(note to self: i want this...http://shop.sanrio.com/hello-kitty-backpack/86638-200701,default,pd.html)

you're my pop rocks, you're my cotton candy, when the beach is hot n' sandy, you're my water...pharrell is such a poet lol i'm currently listening to n.e.r.d's "baby doll." it's been a long time since i listened to this song, let alone this cd. so they changed my contacts again. they gave me a new pair but a different brand of disposable because apparently my eyes are too sensitive. i need to use refresh eyedrops every day aside from the prescribed eyedrops i have to use before and after i put on my contacts. AND i can't use opti-free. i have to use clear care instead. i don't know if this makes sense to you... other bad news... my glasses don't come in till monday :(

i went to the newly opened target at glendale galleria... and dude it's the BIGGEST target i've ever seen!!! 3 flooors of amaaaazing things. i think i spent a good amount of time there. yay. okay i'm gonna go eat dinner now. bye!

p.s. i want my eyeglasses back... i'll take that or laser eye surgery! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. allergies!!!!!!

i feel like changing the title of my blog to anna montana and the subtitle could be "she's got the best of both worlds"... either that or "who said, who said i can't be superman" it's all still up in the air (a-yer as outkast would say) so we'll see.

it seems like i've gotten my second wind. i'm back and i'm not entirely sure of what brought me back. maybe because summer school's coming to a close? (for a week at least). i'm remembering that i need to stop dwelling on the small things and keep my eyes focused on the big picture. THAT is my reason.

i am my own person! it's so freeing.

in other news, my computer fan keeps making noises. it might be a warning sign.

i want to go to mcdonald's for a mighty kids meal... but more for the mighty kids meal hello kitty toys!

i'm not doubting the possibilities.

...when you and I embrace surrender
when you and I choose to believe
then you and I will see who we were meant to be.

thank You for the reminder.

all grown up :)

i'm gonna try to do hw now. ttyl.

"It's a happy talent to know how to play."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

it's saturday oooh ooooh ziggy iggy iggy.
:]

i know i saw them at kids choice... and i know i said hi to them. but i really want to meet them and the rest of the high school musical cast. klsjghklsaghskgjs i'm determined to meet them & take a picture with/of them. that's my summer wish... besides the realistic ones. i can't wait till h.s. musical 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is all.

p.s. i know we're not supposed to believe in horoscopes but...

pisces Anna,
Big ideas and grand visions play a leading role in your life at a time like this. You need some time alone but do not become too introverted. It is still necessary for you to interact with the outside world. Approach a long time project with a new angle if you want to get it done right.

if this is really going to happen, i have to let it happen.

for You and only You.

hi gia, mike, darlene, gen, rachelle, chua, danny, joey, pat, kim, kai, kristina, kayla, trina, caitlin, princess, prunes & all my other friends who knew me back when. thanks for the memories. i'm glad we grew up together :)

yay bonfires! boo ghetto beaches.

Give me wisdom, plain and truthful / Teach me something I don't know / Plain as education, inspiration I suppose / Give me family, on a Sunday / And I'll be just fine / There's nothing in the world / That's worth more of my time

First off, Happy 20th/Twenteenth birthday to one of my best friends ever in life, Geraldine Gia! I love you. Have a beautiful day! You deserve it. I'll see you tonight :) Yay!
Also, happy 22nd birthday James Patrick! YAY my cousin's old!

I think I've successfully dodged many "how are you's" recently so here's my lengthy response to that question.

Anna has been...
irritable. I've been easily irritated by the most trivial things lately. I think my personal way of dealing with it has been keeping quiet. If I don't say anything, then I'm not forced to vocalize or confront my annoyances with the world. What's worse is that I haven't felt like sharing with anyone recently because I don't want to add to their problems. On top of that, telling someone would mean that I'm acknowledging that I feel this way. I'd rather be in denial. I'd also rather get over it on my own. For now, that seems to be the best solution.

selfish. Unfortunately. Yes, I think I've been selfish lately... only because I feel so helpless. If I can't help someone else, I've resorted to just helping myself. That sounds so self-centered. It's frustrating when the people around me are struggling and I can't do anything about it. Words of encouragement and prayers are the only things I can offer but that doesn't seem to be enough. It's never enough. So, as a result, I've partially stopped trying and I've turned my attention towards parts of my life that I can control... like school. Burying myself in my books & work has become a means of avoiding that which I cannot do. I have yet to come to terms with the realization that I can't single-handedly help every person in my life. It's wishful thinking.

distracted. No, not because of myspace & facebook. I've been distracted faith-wise. This summer seems to be testing me the most. Last summer, although I was away from Liwanag, ended up strengthening my faith even more. Maybe because I was aware that I was away from that which brought me closer to Him so I made the extra effort to lean on Him for strength. This summer, I think I've just been relying on myself. I've taken the reins from Him by failing to just let go and let God. I need to pray more. I need to serve You more. Only You know and I should trust that You do. Lord God, I hear Your voice but too often than not, I've chosen to listen to my own over yours, as misguided as my voice is. I pray that my voice becomes Yours; that You speak through me. You always hear our prayers but help us hear Your will. That is my prayer for this summer.

growing. All the feelings & struggles I've been experiencing this past summer & this past year have only added to my growth. Yes I am 20 years old and I'm growing up. I might have even outgrown the awkwardness... or not... maybe just the "fooming." I haven't resorted to that in a while. It's amazing how far I've gotten since freshman year and how much more I have to go. It's a constant progression. The one thing I've learned is that it's not always an upward one. It's a downward one too. Although He determines our direction, it's up to us to keep our eyes focused on Him... it's up to us to look towards Him... rather than dwell on the bumps in our path or linger on our temporary highs. In the long run, the ups and downs are going to pale in comparison to the growth that we've undergone in this journey & to the fact that He's been walking with us every step of the way.

listening&seeing. I know I've listed a lot of negative adjectives in this description of how I've been feeling lately but the one thing I know is that I'm constantly listening to you & I'm always seeing you. Although at times my eyes may have been closed and my ears may have been covered, I can still hear you speak to me and I can still see you and the beauty that lives in you because I care about you. Although our conversations may not be as frequent as we'd like for them to be, the times you confide in me are also times in which I've prayed for you & times in which I've thought of you. Whether you realize it or not, you mean so much to me. Your friendship gives me reason... to love, to live, to breathe, to smile, to cry (good tears), to laugh, to sing, to BE. I hope you never hesitate to come to me when you need me because I do love you and I'm thankful everyday that He has blessed me with you (past, present & future you). Believe it.

dreaming. I've been having weird dreams every night this past week. Some of them have slipped my mind and others have left a lasting impression on me. I think my subconscious has been desperately trying to speak to me. It must be trying to get multiple points across. I still have to decipher and sort through most of these dreams. Here's my dream from last night:

I was wearing a black judge's robe. The outgoing Supreme Court justices had apparently picked me along with 4 other people to replace them. (In my dream the Supreme Court only consists of 5 judges/justices). So the 5 of us incoming justices were seated at this round table facing the former justices and they were interrogating us. It was a very stress-inducing and nerve racking dream because the entire time I could feel my heart beating fast. There were top secret agents everywhere because I guess there were people who were unhappy about the former justices stepping down. Anyway one of the older justices asked the last question of the interrogation which was pretty climactic considering the question he asked (while holding a knife in his hand!!!!) was..."Are you willing to die for this position?" And all of the other new justices responded Yes without hesitation or fear... I replied "yes" but my voice was shaky and my knees got weak staring at that knife. Then they dismissed us and I walked over to my pink backpack to put stuff away... my backpack got HUGE after I put things in it. Then I was called back over to the courtroom and I was scared. That was the end of that dream.

I'm beginning to see the parallels between this dream and my life. I bet you do too. If that doesn't speak to me, then I don't know what does.

And that's me. So how are you?

i think this might be the first time i got a perfect score on a midterm. let alone a MATH midterm. i don't have to take the final because they drop our lowest test score so i don't have to take it! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this means i should treat myself to something good. like good food or clothes or a new laptop?! hahah we'll see. hope you're all having a good weekend!

p.s. KIRS COOL GIRL DON'T LEAAAAAVE USSSSSSS!!! :/ i'm just kidding. hope you have a safe trip! have lots of fun! yay, i agree with bellamay! maybe you'll learn some tagalog and buy some cool stuff. see you sooon.

p.p.s i've been having a weird dream EVERY DAY! it's so weird. i should post them. sooon. dentist appt first. yay teeth cleaning. ugh dentist.

i have very low tolerance for boys who think they're smarter than you or better than you because you're a girl.

if you think i'm indimidated by you, you are wrong foo.

so much to say

... but i can't find the words
so i'll let You speak.

be my Voice.

i love You.

no matter how much i stray, thank You for leading me back to You.

i need to do some convincing.

it'll be okay.

thanks erweirdo for my barbie almalbis cd's. i've been listening to them the whole weekend. even though some of these English songs written by filipino artists are not always grammatically correct, i'd quote them anyway.

give yourself away
say out loud what you are thinking
speak your heart, what you are dreaming of
these adventures missing the point
have held you back, these self help gurus
bore you out of your mind

round and round and round and round it goes
where it's gonna stop sure, everybody knows

you've got to go far from the middle
on to the center of the edge
right where the untamed
is waiting for you there
will you give yourself away?

wake you up from this slumber
refuse to be reduced to a mere number
this indecision has caused you time
these side show leeches drained you dry

its time to shout and fight
to kick and scream
don't you know it's time to move to the extreme

you've got to go far from the middle
on to the center of the edge
right where the untamed
will help you find yourself

out on a limb
over your head far from the comfort
of your bed
out of the line
out of control
out of the confines of
your mind
far from the sanitary
far from this
ordinary world
will you give yourself away

exceedingly
abundantly
more than you
can ask
or think



point being... surrender.

that's my blog for today. sorry it's boring. yay errands. see ya later fools.

happy 20th birthday roomie! i love you!

i actually do.

i wish those 3-D view finders worked & took you to the places on the reel. if they did, i'd definitely be able to escape with the click or push of a button.

change of scenery & routine, PLEASE?

unfortunately that is not the case. for now, this picture will have to do, my current summer situation will have to suffice, & i'll have to make the most of what's been given to me.

it's much more difficult when you're already feeling drained (abby you are right).

but i'll keep trying and trying.

and praying and praying.

peace.

it's been the longest two days of the week ever but i'm glad we get this little break right in the middle. it's refreshing. let's recap cause i'm bored... that's a first.

monday i woke up with a headache so i missed work and studied for a while and then went to stats class and took a quiz. then i went home and read a little and then went to coolest girl's bday dinner! then i came home and studied until i fell asleep.

today i woke up around 7:30 and studied until i went to soc 10 and took my midterm. i finished early but stayed to hear the correct answers and make myself feel bad haha. man our professor sucks. he said that two readings were optional and yet he puts questions from them on the midterm... hence, a 22 out of 28. ugh. then our TA told all 15 of us who stayed afterwards that we worry too much... "it's just a summer class." hopefully it gets curved. anyway i talk about school a lot hahaha. i'm boring. after my midterm i went to work because i'm boring and worked from 10am to 5pm in front of the computer inputting data. it sucked cause lots of people left early but whatevs. more money for me. then i visited my twin at the bookstore and we watched videos and i bought the high school musical edition of people... COLLECTOR'S edition. yes i bought it with my zotbucks. then i walked home and chatted with people and then my whole family came to pick me up... it's rare that my dad comes along... actually this was the first time he ever saw my apt... amazing huh? anyway we ate pancit there and then we headed back home. now i'm at home. i wasn't expecting to go home today but my parents wanted me to so yes.

tomorrow? i don't know. family party? shopping? fireworks? we'll see. it's up in the air. yay full night's sleep!

peace easy fools.

praying for you. have a beautiful 4th of July. stay safe! :)


Are you a child of the 80's survey? (cause I'm bored)
Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
i actually did. my mom used to babysit my cousins & when i was two years old, my kuya arman who was like 10, listened to new kids on the block all the time. "please don't go girllllllll"

Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
yes at one point i did.

The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High?
babysitter's club foo! i wanted to be part of that club. i used to read the chapter books and i watched the show on disney channel..."you can always count on me and i can count on you, good times bad times in between, my friends will see me through"

Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude?
BOTH. i watched both... but i'll say salute your shorts; i liked it better. "camp anawana we hold you in our hearts and when we think about you..."

Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club?
i loved them both... but i think i loved MMC more.

Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly?
Kelly! but David&Donna forever

Who was ALF?
some puppet.

Do you remember the show Dinosaurs?
yes i do... "i'm the baby, gotta love me"

Kimmie Gibler or Urkel?
i watched them both but i liked urkel more.

Blossom or Clarissa Explains It ALL!!!
BOTH... but i liked clarissa's room.

Did you have a crush on JTT?
yeahh hahaha. bought Bop magazines for JTT & Devon Sawa & Leo before BSB came along

Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell?
Tevin Campbell I guess... "can we talk for a minute"

Step By Step or Full House?
ahhhh i watched them both on TGIF! i miss TGIF!

Did you listen to Milli Vanilli?
no

Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow?
Mr. Rogers!!

Did you own a Glo Worm?
YES!

Paula Abdul: better now or then?
then? straight up.

Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare?
Wild n crazy kids!!! double dare was alright

Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?
YEAH! i got scared of the guards hahah. yeah silver monkeys, blue barracudas, etc etc

The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants?
BOTH AGAIN! but if i had to choooose...little giants

Did you watch Saved By The Bell?
DUH! I <3 that show to this day

Who was hotter: Zack or Slater?
ZACK MORRIS!

Camp Nowhere or House Arrest?
i didn't watch camp nowhere so i guess house arrest

Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps?
i think i owned a pair of all-white ones.

Carebears or Smurfs?
carebears & the carebear stare

Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
rainbow brite!!

Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
yes i did!

Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
YES I DID! hahah but i then opted for a lisa frank ballerina bunny binder instead

Atari or Nintendo?
nintendo. i think i was too young for an atari haha

happy 21st birthday coolest girl in the entire world & universe aka Kirsten Ascio! i love you! yay you're 21!!!


in other news, my head hurts. it started last night and it still hurts even though i got 9 hours of sleep. i should take medicine or something :/

i have a quiz & midterm to study for today.

:(


booo mondays.

i watched ratatouille with kristina. it was cute. it reminded me of cooking mama on ds for some reason. thanks ring sister for dinner. i love you. let's hang out again before the year's over :P haha.

YAY SCHOOL!

happy birthday gp!